Would Any Actor Prostitute Himself for Sheen Role in Madam Fleiss Flick?

Now that ex-Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss has sold the rights to her life story to Paramount Pictures, the big question is: How will the movie be cast? I’m particularly interested in who will play the part of actor Charlie Sheen, one of Fleiss’ admitted clients.

Unfortunate juxtapositions department: When a local restaurant passed out balloons, Matt Fraychineaud said it probably “should have put the warning on the back side in smaller print,” just to make it clear that the warning didn’t refer to the menu (see photo).

More food for thought: I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I order a meal, I want a dish of something that’s just heavy -- I’m not that particular what. That’s why I liked this Costa Mesa eatery’s menu language (see accompanying).

I’ve heard of walking on water ... : California is said to be the home of innovative ideas. But Alan Frisbie of L.A. points out that Oregon appears to be the first state in the nation to set aside a stretch of the ocean for bicyclists (see photo).

They don’t all use the one-fingered salute: More and more vehicles are equipped with directional finders, but Milton Valois of Long Beach wonders if he came upon a device for recognizing angry drivers (see accompanying).

Water conservation in Chavez Ravine: The discussion here of Dodger Stadium’s controversial debut in 1962 -- it had no drinking fountains for the fans -- brought back memories for long-time sportscaster Gil Stratton.

Years after the incident, owner Walter O’Malley privately told Stratton that the omission was not a plot to increase beer and soft drink sales, but an oversight.

And when the problem was noticed a few days before the opener, the Dodgers attempted a temporary solution. Dixie cups -- color-coded with the different levels of the stadium -- were purchased with the idea of placing them beside the sinks in the restrooms, O’Malley disclosed.

But then the city told the club it was a violation of health laws to put drinking facilities in restrooms.

“And so,” O’Malley told Stratton, “we still have 300,000 color-coded Dixie cups in a storeroom somewhere in the stadium.”

miscelLAny: This job’s too big for a Sparkletts man. To ease Southern California’s water needs, Alaska businessman Ric Davidge proposed transporting 30-million-gallon bags of water from Northern California rivers. The bags would be towed by boats.

Fine, but what if the boats collided with some of those Oregon bicyclists? Might be better to bring out those Dodger cups.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.