This Guy’s Training System Is All Wet

You won’t find Dutch marathoner Peter Schlink on the treadmill in a Rotterdam gym that he has used every day for the last four years.

No, he didn’t wear out the machine. The gym’s customers and owners didn’t think it was intended for underwater use so he has been banned.

Turns out Schlink just sweats too much.

“The room isn’t air-conditioned, so the sweat is leaking on the floor,” Schlink told Algemeen Dagblad. “But I clean it up every time I leave the platform.

“They also reproach me for smelling too bad. That I doubt, since I take a shower twice a day and use deodorant before I start practicing sports.”

The debate whether Schlink stinks will have to wait until he finds a new gym.

Trivia time: What boxer won an Olympic gold medal and became light-heavyweight and heavyweight champion as a professional?

Equipment check: It’s only about two months until the opening game of the NFL season and Seattle Seahawk quarterback Matt Hasselbeck has announced he’ll be preparing for games differently.

“I traded in the panties for a pair of shoulder pads,” he said.

Presumably, that means he’s going to play tougher.

Lawn boy: Green Bay Packer quarterback Brett Favre, who is threatening to retire any time, says he’ll be trading in his shoulder pads for a lawn mower.

“I think retirement will be a lot like the off-season,” he told the Sun Herald of Biloxi, Miss. “I don’t like to travel. I would rather stay home in Hattiesburg and cut my grass.”

A good thing? Shane Warne, the former vice captain of Australia’s cricket team, is actually ecstatic about serving a 12-month ban for using a prohibited diuretic.

The 33-year-old bowler, who needs 29 Test wickets to pass West Indian Courtney Walsh’s world record of 519, can’t play until Feb. 11.

“I’m getting as strong as I can, which will probably add another year on to the end of my playing career,” he said, cheerily. “All the little niggles and shoulder problems will have had 12 months to settle down.”

Pony show: Forget scheduling that flight -- the National Museum of Racing at Saratoga Springs, N.Y., announced that the July 23 premiere of the movie “Seabiscuit” is sold out.

Staying power: In the mid-1980s, the Cubs had lost three in a row to the Montreal Expos and Chicago Manager Lee Elia couldn’t bear any more misery, so he told umpire Frank Pulli before the game he wanted to be kicked out. No problem, Pulli said.

The Cubs were losing again and, after a close play at the plate, Elia ran out to argue. “I got in his face and started to bob my head,” Elia told the St. Petersburg Times, “and I said, ‘Well, what are you waiting for? Run me.’ ”

Pulli’s response? “If I’ve got to watch this for five more innings, you’re going to watch it with me.”

Trivia answer: Michael Spinks.

And finally: From Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post: “This just in. The Hall of Fame has announced that if Jose Canseco is inducted, he’ll go in wearing an orange jumpsuit and his jersey No. 168943.”

-- John Weyler