Playing Through Pain

It takes Tyler Hamilton 10 minutes before he can speak to his wife.

Hamilton sits on a flimsy lawn chair and he needs both trembling hands to hold onto a Diet Coke. A team trainer helps strip the soaking wet Team CSC bicycle shirt off Hamilton and what bystanders see is horrifying. Some people gasp.

Bruises run up and down the ridges of his back. And that’s what is visible. White tape is wrapped around Hamilton’s shoulder and back. On Sunday, Hamilton was caught in a 35-bike crash at the end of the first stage of the Tour de France. When he fell, Hamilton landed on his shoulder and broke his collarbone.

It was reported Sunday that Hamilton, one of the few men considered capable of stopping his former teammate and fellow American, Lance Armstrong, from winning his fifth consecutive Tour, was out of the race.

But Hamilton is still pedaling.

Hamilton, 32, of Marblehead, Mass., finished the fifth stage Thursday, a brutally hot test of riding from Troyes to Nevers, about 122 miles over rolling hills in sun that felt close enough to touch. He is in 39th place, 1 minute 45 seconds behind leader Victor Hugo Pena and 1:44 behind Armstrong.

Armstrong and Pena, who became the first Colombian to hold the yellow jersey, kept the places they had earned Wednesday when the United States Postal Service team dominated the team time trial.

Hamilton also kept the place he had earned Wednesday.

After 10 minutes, Hamilton whispers into the ear of his wife, Haven. His dog, a golden retriever named Tugboat, licks at Hamilton’s shaking hands and then at his owner’s face when Hamilton drops his head into his palms.

“Tyler’s in so much pain that he can’t even get out any words for 10 or 15 minutes after the race,” Haven says.

She had come from the couple’s racing-season home in Spain on Tuesday. “I thought I was going to be picking Tyler up to bring him home,” Haven says. “I thought he was finished. But he’s not.”

Haven and Tugboat have moved aside because Hamilton is signing autographs. A little girl of about 10 pushes her way under security tape and walks up to Hamilton. When Hamilton gingerly takes the girl’s pen and signs, it seems to be a signal for several other shoving, pushing, sweaty, bold fans to surround Hamilton. He signs papers and gloves and books and posters for all of them. Though he can’t muster a smile.

“I have never seen him in so much pain,” Haven says. “It makes my heart ache to watch him go through this, but I also admire him so much.”

Two years ago, Hamilton left USPS and accepted an offer to become the team leader for CSC. This spring Hamilton became the first American to win the prestigious Liege-Bastogne-Liege road race in Belgium, the oldest one-day classic in the world. Armstrong finished 20th. Hamilton felt his preparations for this Tour were “perfect.”

And then came the crash. Hamilton flew over his handlebars and spent about four hours in the hospital.

“From Sunday night,” says CSC team doctor Joost de Maeseneer, “I would describe Tyler’s pain as excruciating. It is hard for me to explain what is happening. I would have said it was a miracle for him to complete Monday’s stage. For him to still be in the race, what can I say? I must say, to me, this man is a hero.”

After the team trial, Hamilton admits only that “my shoulder was hurting a little more. I wasn’t super strong. I’d hoped to be stronger.”

“He’s exhausted,” Haven says, “and there isn’t a second he’s not in pain.”

De Maeseneer says Hamilton was taking only some over-the-counter pain killers, fearing anything else would turn up against the rules in a drug test.

“I’m motivated to keep going,” Hamilton says, “because I want to help my team, especially our new team leader, Carlos Sastre.” In that statement, Hamilton was admitting that it was not in him to win this Tour. But he also is not riding only to say he finished.

“I don’t want to be a handicap,” Hamilton says. “I’m not continuing just to make it to the finish. I’ve finished the Tour six times. I know I can do that. If I can help Carlos, that’s what I want to do.”

As the Tour heads toward the Alps, though, De Maeseneer uses the word “miracle” again when he talks about Hamilton.

“When you are riding up the mountains,” De Maeseneer says, “you must pump with your arms, first one, then the other, up and down, back and forth. You and I can only imagine the pain.”

Said Haven: “In my heart, I’d like to take Tyler in my arms and bring him home. But when you’re involved in this sport you know you can’t do it. If Tyler quits, it will be his own decision on his own terms.”

Or, as Armstrong says of his friend: “That’s one tough dude.”