You Just Don’t Understand

If there ever is a resolution to the state’s $38-billion budget impasse, it will depend in large measure on whether two powerful men in the Senate reach agreement -- Democratic leader John Burton and his Republican counterpart, Jim Brulte.

The thinking is that if Burton and Brulte can strike a compromise, their respective delegations will go along and the Assembly will be pressured to follow.

In a Senate debate Tuesday over the Republican budget plan, Brulte and Burton dominated the discussion, which ended as many such sessions have -- with no budget or concessions by either side.

Lawmakers often portray the Legislature as a dysfunctional family. If so, Burton and Brulte would be the brooding parents.

Experts in family counseling, who reviewed a six-page transcript of Burton and Brulte’s remarks at The Times’ request, said that if the two men really want to work through the stalemate and take some of the dysfunction out of the Capitol, they need to find a new way to talk to each other.

They described the speeches by Brulte and Burton as laden with accusation, self-justification, and what one called “toxicity.” Neither side would take responsibility for his part in the stalemate. Rather than sticking to the issue -- essential in settling conflicts, the experts said -- the debate often veered into irrelevant asides that moved them further from the ultimate goal of passing a budget.

The purpose of the speeches seemed to be not so much finding a middle ground as winning outright and, as a bonus, making the other side “feel bad about themselves,” said Elayne Savage, a psychotherapist from Berkeley and author of “Breathing Room -- Creating Space to Be a Couple.”

Dorothea McArthur, a clinical psychologist from Los Angeles whose practice includes couples and families, said that if Brulte and Burton had been in her office, “I would have interrupted it very fast.... It’s a waste of their money for them to come into my office and do that.” She added: “There’s no point here. They’re just shooting at each other with BB guns.”

The counselors said that at a time when conciliation is essential, each side chose to attack. It started early on.

“First of all I want to congratulate Sen. Brulte for bringing his caucus somewhat together on this issue,” Burton said in his opening remarks.

Savage: “Somewhat? It’s so snide.”

Brulte, in describing the roots of the shortfall, said: “Let me tell you what I said three years ago when you began your overspending binge. Every day you delay in dealing with the problem, the problem will get bigger. And two years ago you didn’t deal with it. And last year you didn’t deal with it. And when we came back from Hawaii in December you didn’t deal with it.” That was a reference to a trip that he and nearly a dozen other legislators took to Hawaii in December, for a conference sponsored by correctional officers.

Burton at one point made a cryptic dig at Brulte’s warning in June that he would campaign against fellow Republicans who break ranks and support tax increases.

“I did not threaten to campaign against any ... Democratic colleague if they voted for the budget,” Burton said.

Alan Solomon, a Torrance psychologist who counsels married couples, said: “Each of these men is investing a tremendous amount of energy in blaming the other person and party. In terms of ... conflict resolution, that is a strategy that is very likely to fail. Because someone feels blamed and the finger is being pointed at them. And they generally will retaliate in the same fashion. It becomes an intensifying cycle that is not likely to go anywhere.”

Savage said: “They need to forget and move on and not keep bringing it up and rubbing their noses in something. They’re always wanting to make the other party look bad and wrong: ‘By the way you did this and voted for that and you believe this.’ They’re not passing a budget when they say that. They’re not closer to passing a budget when they say that.”

The differences between the two are by no means small. The Republicans won’t accept new taxes (“We don’t think we can give you money because you will spend it,” Brulte said); the Democrats won’t embrace the deeper spending cuts advocated by the GOP (“You didn’t pick on any of the big guys,” Burton said).

With the two parties so entrenched, it is especially important that neither gets sidetracked.

That happened all too often on the Senate floor, the counselors said.

At different points, the debate touched on the Davis administration’s stance on eliminating vacant state government positions four years ago; the San Francisco Bay’s ship capacity in the 1960s; and a Senate staffer’s visit to see a child at West Point.

“It’s almost like someone took a pack of cards and threw them down the stairs,” McArthur said. “.... It’s too many potshots piled up on one another with no real solution or resolution proposed.”

Amid all the peripheral issues, the budget is forgotten, Savage said.

“One of the main skills of negotiating is to stay with the issue.... What is happening here is the budget conflict is getting lost. It needs to be found.”

Feeding the dispute was each side’s penchant for summarizing the other’s position in ways the other would find objectionable, the counselors said.

In one exchange, Burton accused the GOP of attempting to shut down libraries. That led to an effort by Brulte to assert that libraries would not close under the Republican plan.

“The Democrats would say ‘your position on this is’ such and such. And the Republicans would say, ‘No, that’s not our position.’ You add a whole other layer of conflict, instead of moving forward toward resolution,” Solomon said.

In more private settings, Brulte and Burton get along fine. Cameras and a public audience tend to inflame the dialogue. But Savage worried that the fulminating public speeches may be difficult for both sides to forget or forgive.

She cited Burton’s refrain that the GOP budget reflects its values. “In other words, he’s saying your values are not any good.... I don’t care how hardened we are, we all have feelings.”

Instead, counselors say, the two men need to make clear what each needs from the other -- apart from total capitulation.

“They’re direct about name-calling, but they’re not direct about saying what they need,” Savage said. “They’re direct about complaining. But there’s never a, ‘This is what would work for me. This is what I need.’ ”

In his closing address, Brulte found some grounds for hope.

“Actually, Sen. Burton and I agree on the budget,” he said. “We both think it’s the other party’s fault that we don’t have one. I guess you can start from there and grow.”

Said Savage: “It’s kind of sad, actually.”