Mickelson Still Needs to Cross Major Bridge

Ernie Els, Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods were already on the driving range in preparation for Monday’s made-for-TV golf event when the Lovable Loser showed up and received a rousing ovation from the millionaires and their guests in attendance.

This is Phil Mickelson’s home course, “The Bridges” making the Lovable Loser an honorary member and waiving the $325,000 membership fee, I presume so the folks here get the chance to play him for money, or find out what football teams he’s betting on each week.

But even beyond The Bridges something strange has happened in the last year or so: Mickelson graduated from underachiever to underdog. So everybody seems to love Mickelson these days like they love a three-legged dog trying to chase the family cat.

And as you know, the Lovable Loser can be so cute, tipping his visor and tossing a sheepish grin at everyone rooting for him to overcome himself, but then he has to walk to the first tee, and the jokes begin.

“I think just before Phil tees off,” said comedian George Lopez, who played The Bridges earlier in the day, “I’ll walk up to him and whisper -- ‘It’s a major.’ ”

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THIS FIFTH edition of reality-TV golf was supposed to feature the three best players in the world -- Woods, Mickelson and Els -- and the punk that Tiger dislikes even more than Mickelson, the fist-pumping Garcia.

Mickelson, though, is no longer one of the three best players in the world. He isn’t even in the top 10, ranked No. 11 now.

He is 0 for 45 in attempts to win a major tournament, and was armed for this event, a day after finishing in a tie for 59th place in the Greater Hartford Open, with only home-course knowledge.

Garcia made it clear at one point he didn’t want any of that course insight, even though they were playing partners. Now you begin to understand why Tiger doesn’t care much for the little whippersnapper.

Throw in three years ago, when Garcia defeated an ill Woods in the “Battle at Bighorn,” in Palm Desert and reacted like he had just won a Masters playoff, and Woods had every competitive reason to put on a good show.

It didn’t happen until the seventh and eighth holes, with Woods posting consecutive birdies to cut a three-up lead for Mickelson-Garcia to a one-hole advantage.

Nothing much happened on the next seven holes with Mickelson-Garcia remaining one-up, although Woods hit a three iron from a bunker 241 yards out within 18 feet of the pin. He then putted for an eagle and missed.

I don’t recall anything Els did.

“It would have been quite exciting if Tiger and Ernie had holed some putts on the back nine,” said Garcia -- the whippersnapper’s way of saying the No. 1 & 2 players in the world aren’t all that.

Garcia effectively clinched the victory, worth $1.2 million to the Mickelson-Garcia tandem, with a 30-foot eagle putt on No. 16. For two guys who have never won a major, they probably went away chalking up “The Battle at The Bridges” as a big win. And that might be as good as it gets for the Lovable Loser.

“This format was my idea based on something Arnold [Palmer] and Gary Player did with challenge golf, putting myself and Ernie together, the American and the South African,” Woods said with a grin. “And we got waxed.”

For some reason, I think Woods will recover.

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BEFORE ABC joined the match in progress, a miked Mickelson asked Garcia if Martina Hingis was ever going to play tennis again. He might as well have asked: “How’s the old girlfriend doing, Serge?”

If they hadn’t been playing partners, you’d have thought Mickelson was trying to get in Garcia’s head.

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ON THE 11th hole, while Garcia’s tee shot was in the air, ABC reporter Ian Baker-Finch told the folks at home: “This looks pretty.” Garcia’s shot landed in the pond over the green.

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WHEN I learned The Bridges paid $1 million in rights fees to lure Tiger, I agreed to play the course Sunday for free -- just to give them a break.

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SINCE NO one else would play with him, I was stuck with Associated Press reporter Doug Ferguson, who describes golf shots for a living in his daily dispatches that are read worldwide.

Here’s an example of how well he does his job: On the par-three eighth hole, he hit a seven iron and yelled -- and you’re supposed to be quiet on a golf course -- “It’s short.”

The ball went in the hole, of course, for a hole-in-one.

For the record, the Lovable Loser and Garcia missed the same par-three green, while Els, a dead weight when it came to helping Woods all night long, landed 40 feet from the cup. Next year they might want to consider substituting Ferguson for Els to give Woods a chance to win.

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THE BRIDGES expects membership to climb from 210 to 375 because of the TV exposure it received.

“The $325,000 fee might go up to $400,000 after this,” joked head pro Rick Peters, which prompted his sister, Claudia Weaver, to suggest to me, “So if you’re thinking about it, now would be a good time to get in here before the price goes up.”

As soon I find out the dates and times when Weaver will be appearing at the Comedy Store, I’ll let you know.

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TODAY’S LAST word comes in an e-mail from Linda Harrison:

“My husband loves your column, and he lets me read it when it is especially funny. Now confess, the ‘Bagger’ is really a bright kid working his way through USC who will graduate summa cum laude with a law degree so he can sue you.”

Did you get your husband’s permission before e-mailing me?

T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com