Buzz Off Is Only Buzz for Clippers

Remember your childhood, when they opened the gate to the merry-go-round and you would rush to nab one of those gleaming horses on the outer edges that danced up and down?

The latecomers got stuck with the non-moving horses and chariots in the middle -- the equivalent of the Clippers in the current NBA coaching carousel.

The prancing ponies are gone now. Larry Brown went to Detroit and Paul Silas is off to coach LeBron James in Cleveland.

Houston, with Yao Ming and Steve Francis in place, ought to have dibs on the next best horse, be it Jeff Van Gundy or Mike Dunleavy. And there are still openings in Philadelphia, New Orleans, Washington, Atlanta and Toronto.

So where does that leave the Clippers? In the wrong spot, as usual.

It’s been pretty quiet in Clipper Country. There’s no comment from anybody, and a team spokesman said Monday that he was “not going to add to the speculation.” Funny, I didn’t know there was any speculation.

Right now Clipper forward Elton Brand is in Chicago ... and in the dark as far his team’s direction.

“I’m just waiting to see,” said Brand, working out with trainer Tim Grover. “I have no bearing on it.

“The other teams, something’s happening in their camps. [With the Clippers], I just don’t know.”

There’s so little buzz about them because they have so little to offer: an average-at-best salary and a roster full of players ready to call the movers once the season’s done.

Here are the players under contract beyond 2003-04: Melvin Ely, Marko Jaric and Chris Wilcox.

If the Clippers had done the right thing last summer and signed some guys to long-term deals ... well, maybe they wouldn’t even be in this situation because the season wouldn’t have been such a disaster and perhaps Alvin Gentry could have kept his job. Even if Gentry didn’t prove to be the right coach, this team right now would be one of the most attractive positions out there. Who wouldn’t want to live in Los Angeles and coach this talented core of young players?

The Clippers could have signed Brand to a $70-million contract last summer. Now Brand’s agent, David Falk, is telling people he’ll just sign Brand to a one-year deal to bide time until he can bolt as an unrestricted free agent next summer. Lamar Odom and Corey Maggette could follow Brand out the door. Brand said he’s waiting to see what happens once the free-agency period begins July 1 and hasn’t talked contracts with Maggette and Quentin Richardson, who are with him in Chicago.

As much as Brown would like to come back to L.A., where he coached UCLA to the 1980 NCAA championship game and took the Clippers to back-to-back playoffs, Detroit actually looked better.

Yes, Detroit, with its cold winters and star-deficient roster.

You really think the Clippers were going to pay Brown anything close to the $25 million he’ll get for five years of service to the Pistons?

What’s to like about the Pistons? They’re willing to play defense, which is usually a coach’s most difficult request. They’ll have the No. 2 pick in this year’s draft and probably will select Darko Milicic, an athletic 7-footer.

Mostly it’s about location. Not eastern Michigan, Eastern Conference. That means Brown won’t have to go through, say, the Lakers and the Kings and the Spurs (not to mention the Mavericks and Timberwolves) just to get to the NBA Finals.

What’s the Clippers’ agenda?

The Clippers never seem to be in a rush to make a hire. Hmmm, paying a guy when there are no players to coach? That wouldn’t be the Clipper way. They only pay ex-coaches to do nothing. Paul Silas went on national television and said he would be talking to Elgin Baylor, then nothing happened. Brown entered the picture briefly, but not for long.

And the longer the Clippers wait, the more the landscape changes and better jobs appear.

Which of the remaining teams is going to come up with the next bold move and hire a future star like Byron Scott or Doc Rivers instead of the same old retreads?

If the Clippers won’t spend the big bucks for the big names, they could at least make a play for people such as Net assistant Eddie Jordan or Laker assistant Jim Cleamons, who didn’t have the personnel to win in their first NBA head-coaching gigs.

But they’ll probably wind up sticking with interim Coach Dennis Johnson. He deserves a full year to show what he can do after taking over the doomed ship near the end of last season. If Johnson’s their guy, they should have made a commitment to him earlier.

If the front office shows such little regard for him, how are the players supposed to respect his authority?

Guess it doesn’t matter, since they won’t be around for long anyway.

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J.A. Adande can be reached at j.a.adande@latimes.com.