Wanted: big talents, small sizes

The Hollywood trades often feature unusual advertisements, particularly in the classifieds. Just a few years ago, for instance, a screenplay was offered for sale with the plot line: “Tootsie” meets “The Godfather.” (The ad didn’t explain whether the story involved a man posing as a woman in the Mafia or the opposite.)

More recently, an employment ad in Variety offered the following positions:

“Carnival Sideshow Entertainers and Personal Aides needed for West Indies Midget Show: carnival season 4/4/03 to 12/28/03; U.S. East Coast. Entertainers play banjo, guitar, sing calypso music & Jamaican market ditties. Requirements for entertainers: appropriate size & height. Quality of voice need not be professional. Transportation to & from country & fair to fair furnished. Trailer-type living quarters & expenses included. Wages $280/wk for 30 hours actual performing time. Personal aides $250/wk, plus accommodation travel; no experience required.”

Contacted in his Florida office, Jack Constantine, owner of Four C Productions Inc., who placed the ad, said he is busy preparing for the upcoming spring carnival season and didn’t have much to say about his hiring efforts. “It’s a carnival sideshow,” Constantine said in a telephone interview. “It’s little people traveling around, being the world’s smallest people. If you know any who are looking for work, tell them to call me.”