It’s a Sign of Troubling Times for the Dodgers

So I’m thinking to myself, “Just how crummy are the Dodgers going to be this season?” when I get a news flash from Florida: The Dodgers have claimed Gookie Dawkins off waivers from Cincinnati, and holy F.P. Santangelo, now there is talk of Gookie Mania, or maybe Gookie Giggles, sweeping Los Angeles.

There is no question Gookie has been hot this spring, hitting .154, considerably better than his .125 performance with the Reds last season, and it makes you wonder why he became available to the Dodgers.

Two other notes about the “Gookie Monster,” as the Dodger Web site described him:

* He struck out only 21 of the 48 times he batted last season, which means 27 times he didn’t, which also tells me the Dodgers have successfully filled the void left by Eric Karros.

* And listed as a utility infielder, Gookie played second base once last year, had one chance to field a ball, and booted it. When you consider Mark Grudzielanek was playing second base for the Dodgers last year, that’s probably an improvement.

“Our scouts like the kid,” General Manager Dan Evans told reporters, and I’m pretty excited about that -- given the scouts’ clairvoyant abilities to spot talent where no one else can. Maybe they see him hitting .200 at some point, and wouldn’t that be a Dodger upgrade?

He hits .200, and he’ll blow past Joe Thurston, who is pegged to start the season at second even though he is currently hitting .189 through 14 spring training games. Such excitement: Go Gookie Go.

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TODD HUNDLEY returns to the Dodgers after almost hitting the .200 mark in his two years in Chicago, doing a great job to bat .199 in that time after what he called a terrible stay in Los Angeles.

The good news from spring training -- by Hundley’s own admission -- is that he is no longer out on the town drinking most nights and losing sleep, and since the Dodgers don’t figure to give him any reason to celebrate, the expectation this season is that he’ll be able to get many a good night’s sleep.

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THIS IS the best time of the year for the Dodgers because Kevin Brown and Darren Dreifort haven’t been hurt yet, and although it’s unclear whether Guillermo Mota is still running from Mike Piazza, since the team hasn’t been in Los Angeles for a while, Brian Jordan hasn’t talked about how much he hates the place.

A star is born every day, of course in Hollywood, and Andy Ashby has spent spring training auditioning for the part of batting-practice pitcher if they ever bring back “Home Run Derby.” His earned-run average of 17.47 is a little deceiving, because some of that has been against minor league players and it would be a lot higher if pitted against big leaguers.

I’m telling you how excited I am to find out just how bad the Dodgers are going to be this season -- I called Vero Beach on Tuesday to see how the guys were doing, only to discover they all had taken the day off. I guess they’ve decided there’s just no point in practicing anymore.

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SPORTS BUSINESS Daily reported that the Family Zone in Edison Field will be sponsored by 1-800-DENTIST. I think that’s a mistake, given the Angels’ success. I think it’d be more appropriate to have 1-800-DENTIST sponsor Dodger Stadium -- because if the Dodgers are as bad as I think they are, eventually you’re going to have to drag people kicking and screaming to watch them.

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CLIPPER General Manager Elgin Baylor fired coach Alvin Gentry primarily because of the team’s collapse on defense -- allowing an average of 102 points in their previous 10 games before Gentry’s dismissal -- and replaced him with defensive specialist Dennis Johnson. The Clippers have gone 2-7 under Johnson while allowing an average of 102 points.

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I WAS going to let it drop, and make no mention of USC Coach Henry Bibby, until I received a book in the mail Tuesday: “[Bobby] Knight -- My Story,” which reminded me of the hypocrisy of so many coaches who believe they’ve been put on earth to build character like some kind of messianic drill sergeant.

I mean, when I read a quote from Bibby after a basketball game that begins, “As a father,” I know we’re going down a road that should not be traveled.

He’s not only had his own well-publicized problems with son Mike, who plays for Sacramento, but where does it say a coach should play the role of surrogate parent? Is that also the charge of the chemistry professor at USC?

“I’m building character,” Bibby said, and I’d correct him: His job is to win basketball games.

I read where Bibby has said, “The big picture is going to be done the right way, my way.” Throw open Knight’s book, and you’ll probably find the same line. They consider themselves role models; I consider them bullies.

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I’M SURPRISED there was no panic. A number of players, among them Tampa Bay’s John Lynch, Pittsburgh’s Tommy Maddox and Denver’s Clinton Portis, appeared in the Rose Bowl over the weekend in NFL Equipment gear for the NFL/Reebok catalog. Quentin Jammer also posed for photos in the Rose Bowl -- in full Charger gear -- which was hitting a little too close to home.

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TODAY’S LAST rant comes in e-mail from Kenny Blonder:

“The Raiders will be in the next Super Bowl. Al Davis is still the most knowledgeable exec in sports. He’s not going to sit on his hands and let the parade pass. The Raiders will surely have a new and improved look in 2003. Let’s see what stupid remarks you’ll make to my prediction. See you at the Super Bowl.”

Thanks for your timely e-mail.

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T.J. Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@latimes.com.