Some Advice to the New Guy: Don’t Be Crazy, Like a Fox

So the Dodgers awaken today with a new owner, some guy named McCourt, and while we know little about him, we know enough.

He ain’t Fox.

So one of sports’ most enduring franchises has changed hands for the second time in five years, a holy relic turned into a hot potato, gripped today by a stranger with only one asset we understand, but one is enough.

He ain’t Fox.

With all due respect to the solemnity with which our city’s greatest sports asset is being sold, allow us to click our glass slippers and strike up a show tune.

Ding, dong, the Fox is dead ...

This Frank McCourt, whoever he is, will soon discover that buying the Dodgers from Fox will be like buying lifeboats for Devil’s Island.

Does it float? We’ll take it.

If McCourt doesn’t trade Eric Gagne while nobody is looking, if he doesn’t fire any remaining Dodger legends at midnight, if he doesn’t say that he’s rooting for the Yankees, if he doesn’t casually roll up and toss around a great organization as if it was this week’s TV Guide ... he’ll do.

Oh, can that first lunch be with Sandy Koufax?

Following Fox’s five-year marriage made in hell, McCourt will certainly be given a honeymoon, and it is hoped he will not use it to hire Kevin Malone or insult Mike Scioscia or give $105 million to Kevin Brown.

Been there, dumb that.

One good thing about replacing the class dunce is that there won’t be much of a learning curve. McCourt should figure this thing out in about as much time as it takes his new star reliever’s fastball to reach his new home plate.

Don’t do as Fox did.

Don’t treat this city’s sports heirloom like a plastic necklace, because Dodger fans can smell a phony.

Don’t treat this city’s birthright as barter, because Dodger fans won’t tolerate a fool.

McCourt will be initially viewed as a good guy, if only because his name isn’t Chernin, Carey or Carlos Perez.

But if he decides to move Dodger Stadium out of lovely Chavez Ravine and into a downtown spot -- he’s a real estate developer -- then he will be scorned.

If he decides to cut costs while trying to convince us that the Dodgers play in a small market -- notice he’s missing from those Forbes rich guy lists -- then he will be shamed.

And if he even thinks about messing with Vin Scully ...

There are lessons to be learned from Fox, not the least of which is, disrespecting the Dodgers is not worth it.

You will lose friends, alienate fans, and become a pariah in a community where no other sporting team means as much.

You will become so harassed, you eventually will sell a piece of the team to a longtime fan like Bob Daly, hoping he will absorb the heat.

You will become so weary, you finally will sell the entire team for something less than the blockbuster price that everyone anticipated, and everyone will cheer.

Hey, Fox? Don’t let the roar hit you on the way out.

McCourt should learn from Fox and realize that this deal is ultimately not about money or land, but legacy.

Bob Daly realized this, and should be thanked before he goes.

In his four years as the front-office face of the Dodgers, he brought home the likes of Fernando Valenzuela, Maury Wills and Roy Gleason.

He respected tradition. He settled the clubhouse. It’s a shame he didn’t own a bigger piece, because he could have made a bigger impact.

Next up, a Red Sox martyr.

That’s right, McCourt is a lifelong baseball fan from Boston, which means he must love the Red Sox, and that’s neat. Anybody who has waited a lifetime must be running out of patience.

We also know that his business partner is his wife, Jamie, which fits well in a town where another prominent sports executive is named Jeanie.

In delving into their still-shallow background file -- they can’t talk until the sale is completed -- we have also unearthed this little matter of, um, er, the San Francisco Giants.

McCourt’s front man, Corey Busch, is a former Giant executive. His flak on the deal, Duffy Jennings, is a former Giant public relations boss.

But before lining up to pour beer down their collective shirts, think about it. The Giants have one of the best front offices in baseball. The Giants have become the sort of scrappy team the Dodgers once were.

Would stealing from them be such as bad thing?

One more thing about McCourt. His grandfather was once part-owner of the Boston Braves.

In 37 years, the Braves made the postseason twice.

The guy will feel right at home.

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Bill Plaschke can be reached at bill.plaschke@latimes.com.