Were He a Candidate, the Electorate Would No Doubt Be Held Spellbound

The date of the recall election is a moot point for one fellow spotted on a Ventura street corner by John Wilner. The panhandler apparently didn’t qualify for the ballot, despite his towering credentials (see photo).

Oh well. Judging from his erratic spelling, his absence from the campaign at least forestalled another controversy over how to pronounce the state’s name.

How many gubernatorial candidates would qualify? Ursula Kammer-Fox of Santa Monica saw an ad placed by someone who seemed to be searching for a roommate who is awake. (see accompanying).

Unclear on the concept: The odds were stacked against some boxes on an Amtrak car, points out Tony Finizza of Dana Point (see photo).

Drivers be warned: In Maine, Glenn Gruber of Pasadena noticed a street that didn’t sound very inviting (see photo).

Which reminds me: Visiting here from Boston, Alan Beauchesne’s sons, Mark and Ryan, spotted the license plate GRUMPEE in Santa Barbara.

“I saw something that might explain it,” Beauchesne added. “There was also a Raiders bumper sticker on the car.”

Out of bounds! The Beach Reporter said that a shopper allegedly “placed an unknown number of golf clubs in his pants” at a South Bay golf shop and left. The owner closed the parking lot but “the suspect rammed through the gates and fled.”

Honest, officer, I’ve been daubing, not drinking: Ken Higman read about a new cologne described as giving off a “delicious red scent of sheer port wine and cognac.”

Commented Higman: “Sounds nice, but you might want to caution users not to wear this to work. A cologne that smells like liquor -- just the impression you don’t want to make to your boss or client. Or try explaining the smell to the officer who pulls you over ....”

Speaking of hangovers: Mention was made here of the Mission Viejo resident who called police to complain about a dog-grooming truck next door that was allegedly “releasing hair” onto her property.

Commented Paul Solyn of L.A.: “I think the wrong agency was called. If the problem was ‘hair of the dog,’ obviously the Alcoholic Beverage Control Department has jurisdiction.”

MiscelLAny: The outside world, enjoying the gubernatorial chaos here, won’t find this surprising. Catherine Leonard of Glendale points out that one voter precinct for the recall election will be Amusing Amusements (a Glendale children’s center).

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LA-TIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.