Slogans R Us: Pick one here

T minus seven days till the recall election and the candidates still don’t have any decent campaign slogans. Here are more suggestions from topfive.com:

* Larry Flynt: Look for my campaign literature under your son’s mattress.

* Arnold Schwarzenegger: Free water and electricity from Oregon or I’ll kick their governor’s butt.

* Arianna Huffington: I want to be your governor (by “be,” I mean “attract,” and by “your governor,” I mean “a great deal of media attention”).

* Cruz Bustamante: I’d show you the money, but, uh, we spent it all.

* Gallagher: The only candidate willing to use state senators as whack-a-moles.

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Predictions for the week

As recall mania winds down, here’s what to expect:

* Trying to revive his dying candidacy, Bustamante finally responds to criticism of the multimillion-dollar donations he’s taken from Indian tribes: “I’m pretty sure all that money is from the sale of turquoise jewelry,” he says. “It won’t have any influence on my dealings with Indian casinos, I swear.”

* Schwarzenegger finally reveals his plan to erase the state deficit. “I got an e-mail from a Nigerian businessman who promised to help. All we have to do is send him a few billion and we’ll get a huge return. If that’s not enough, I also received another e-mail that says California can earn extra money by working from home.”

* Plowing ahead after Schwarzenegger rejects his offer to debate on “Larry King Live,” Gray Davis debates himself on the show -- and loses.

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Why journalists fear Schwarzenegger

The latest poll numbers have newspaper editors in a panic, mainly because they’re unsure how to squeeze the words “Gov. Schwarzenegger” into most headlines.

This leaves two options: Go ballistic trying to derail the recall -- or endorse underdog candidate Van Vo, a Republican radio producer with the most headline-friendly name.

Unfortunately, voters tend to be inconsiderate about headline-writing difficulties. A case in point: Denver residents recently elected a mayor named John Hickenlooper. The Rocky Mountain News was so wigged out that it conducted a reader survey on how to make the name fit into a headline. The options included: Hick, H’loop and Hknlpr. With the candidate’s approval, the News and the Denver Post settled on the nickname “Hick” (sample headlines: “Hick Sworn In Before Cheering Crowd” and “Hick Town”).

Most newspapers are reluctant to be so informal. At the Los Angeles Times, according to senior editor for copy desks Clark Stevens, “The order went out weeks ago: No ‘Arnolds’ in headlines, except maybe in a non-serious context.”

But if Davis loses and Vo fails to catch on, newspapers will make do, Stevens said: “It will take a lot more than some multisyllabic, muscle-bound Alpine pretty boy to bring a trickle of sweat to our green eyeshades. Remember, we survived Deukmejian.”

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Late-night blotter

“According to Sports Illustrated, O.J. Simpson has been invited to coach an all-star football game for college prospects in Florida. O.J. coaching high school kids! You know, just when it looked like California was going to take the title of dumbest state in the union, Florida turns it around and snatches it back.” (Jay Leno)

“What was with Cruz Bustamante at the debate? He seemed kinda out of it, just kind of floating along. Apparently some of those Indian tribes also donated some peyote to the campaign.” (Leno)

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Senior advisors: oregonlive.com

/edge, Michael T. Jarvis, Pamm Higgins. E-mail roy.rivenburg@latimes.com. Archive: www.latimes.com/recallmadness.