Sorry, Wasn’t Listening
Americans -- when you take a minute to think about it, which isn’t often -- have become an easily distracted people. They -- was that your cell? -- will focus intently on one subject briefly, probably while it’s featured breathlessly on cable news. And then -- or was that the doorbell? -- they’ll switch mental channels to something else and forget most everything about the first thing -- no, it’s the microwave.
Now along comes a new study of American infants to occupy our minds briefly. An article in the April issue of the journal Pediatrics suggests that the more television that infants experience, the more trouble they have at age 7 with their attention spans.
By the way, did you agree with Donald Trump’s choice for his apprentice? Pretty smiley, wasn’t he?
The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that children under 2 not be exposed to Donald Trump or any other television. That’s because -- wait, push mute for this -- the first two or three years of human brain development are crucial, kind of like the cable or satellite guy laying wires for all future programming.
So once the house or brain is wired one way to handle rapid-fire image changes, sounds and colorful sights, it has a hard time thinking other ways for long. Especially if the other ways are less exciting than chases, close games or partially clad chases.
If you’re wired on, say, Bill Nye the Science Guy, your brain is prepped for overstimulation, sights changing every five seconds. When they don’t, you feel like changing the channel. Except there’s no remote control for real life. Which can be mind-numbing, like those staged TV makeovers.
The study examined 1,345 children -- call it 1,300 and change. The ones who watched the most TV -- did you know nearly a third of today’s infants have TV in their rooms? Anyway, the longest-TV-watching kids had the most trouble focusing later on things like books. You know, those thick paper things that have no commercials but still take forEVER to get through. Some have 100 pages or more. With no fast-forward! Rapid image change is like candy for the brain. But can brains be nourished on M&Ms;? Or worms? Did you see that “Fear Factor”? Yuk!
Anyway, these pediatricians are worried about TV’s effect on baby brains. But they’re young -- the kids, not the doctors. Surely they’ll grow up fine on neat, 22-minute segments. By adulthood maybe their hardened brains will grasp that life moves slower than cartoons. Which doesn’t make real life unimportant. Just boring.
In other world news, Mary Hart ponders a new hairdo.
