Run-In With Black and White Critter Brings Forth Some Colorful Writing

It sounded ominous: screams in the night ... a woman shouting, “Get out! Get out!”

What it turned out to be was an invasion by a skunk.

When police arrived, the resident explained that her three dogs had killed the varmint in the backyard.

But the intruder, like an old-time gunfighter, managed to fire off several doses of its spray before expiring, hitting each hound.

“In the aftermath,” a poet at the Dana Point News wrote, “the air on Seth Circle that a short time earlier wafted with the sweet scents of springtime blooms now grew thick with a foul pungent odor.”

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Travel folder: Today’s tips (see accompanying) include:

* A waterway in Germany that sounds as though it might offer an unintentionally exciting trip (Patt Richards of Arcadia).

* A reminder about the legendary mudholes of San Juan Capistrano (Jane Pace of Victorville).

* And the famous dueling street signs of Hemet (Gwen Schlick of San Jacinto).

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Medium-well diagnosis: The police log of the San Clemente Sun Post carried a resident’s report of a possible apartment fire, prompted by “the smell of smoke and a fire alarm sounding. Orange County Fire Authority found only smoke from an overcooked steak.”

The firefighters added: “Hungry cook on scene.”

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Flashback: In connection with the great streaking craze of 1974, I mentioned the Pasadena judge who gave three students probation for racing in the nude in front of the Vienna Symphony Orchestra in Pasadena.

The judge, quoting an old English saying that has several variations, cautioned them: “Do anything you want, but don’t do it in the streets or you’ll frighten the horses.”

Don Schwartz informed me that the quote is attributed to an actress whose stage name was Mrs. Patrick Campbell (1865-1940). Campbell, born Beatrice Stella Tanner, also was credited with these snappy lines:

* On success: “Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.”

* To the loquacious George Bernard Shaw: “When you were quite a little boy, somebody ought to have said, ‘Hush!’ just once.”

* On actress Norma Shearer: “She has such pretty little eyes. And they’re so close together!”

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Mondegreens of the Day: Two contributors to our series on misinterpreted lyrics cited tangles with a certain classroom recitation.

James Irsfeld of Sherman Oaks recalled how a boyhood friend pledged allegiance to the flag of the United States “and to the rich public for which it stands.”

Bill Farris of Buena Park remembered a grade school classmate pledging allegiance to the flag of the United States “and to the Republicans for which it stands.”

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miscelLAny: Mondegreens published here do not necessarily express the philosophy of this column, this newspaper or the Democratic Party.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.