Learn to Be Responsible, From the Ground Up
The kids in my son’s fifth-grade class were assigned to keep a diary of their activities for a week. One girl recorded that she had spent one minute on “chores.” Asked what her chores were, she responded, “I take my clothes off the floor and put them on my bed.”
Attention, nannies: Fred Booth spotted a sports bar in Laguna Hills that has strict rules for the 2-year-old set (see photo).
What size Denver boot do you wear? Bob Loudin found an area in Studio City where negligent drivers are hooked up to tow trucks themselves (see photo). I guess the place leaves the cars there.
Is this the car capital of the nation or what? L. Willsey of Rancho Cucamonga sent along a listing for a property aimed at the average Southern California family’s parking needs (see accompanying).
Strange Juxtapositions Dept.: In a medical magazine, Robert Goubeaux of West Hollywood came across an announcement about job openings that made a reference to California’s new governor (see accompanying).
Roughest violinists in the Southland? A colleague attending a concert by a string ensemble at the Orange County Performing Arts Center noticed that the ticket from Ticketmaster contained this warning: “Despite enhanced spectator shielding measures, pucks still may fly into the spectator area. Serious injury can occur. Stay alert at all times, including during warmup and after play stops.” He plans to wear a three-piece suit with a matching hockey mask.
Not exactly superstars around the house: The Lakers’ Kobe Bryant was sidelined with an injured finger, which he cut, he said, when he struck a window in his garage while moving boxes. I’m reminded of the 2002 mishap involving Shaquille O’Neal, who required four stitches in his left forearm after falling in his bathroom. What happened? He was showing his children the way Spider-Man crawls up a wall, he said. O’Neal, who wears a Superman tattoo and ring, added, “That’s what happens when you cross superheroes.”
Unusual homework: No sooner did I mention an urban legend about college life than an old classmate pointed out that it had been the premise for a 1998 movie flop, “Dead Man on Campus.”
It was a real salute to the slacker generation: Two college roommates, in danger of flunking out, discover an obscure school regulation stating that, if one roommate commits suicide, the other roommates automatically get straight A’s. So the two losers persuade several depressed types to move in with them, including, of course, a punk rocker.
“As funny as a funeral,” a Times reviewer said.
miscelLAny: A website for the Orange County Performing Arts Center advised: “Due to improvements on the 405 and 55 freeways, patrons are encouraged to allow additional time or use alternate routes when traveling to this area.” Nothing slows traffic like “improvements.”
Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.