Diamonds, designers and, oh, yes a bed

Few people heard about the 2002 suspenseful thriller “The Missing Red Dress.” That’s because it took place not on screen but in a hotel suite.

“We had this lady going to the Academy Awards and she was getting her hair and makeup done, but FedEx had not delivered her dress,” recalls Peninsula Hotel chef concierge James Little. “There was escalating panic on her part.” Little, in the role of hero, swung into action. “We contacted couture shops and asked them to bring in any type of swanky dress they had. The real issue was trying to find something that matched the shoes, because her shoes were dyed red to match the dress.” No sooner had she settled on a similar red Escada than fate delivered the comic denouement: The FedEx truck rolled up with the original dress on board.

Welcome to the spectacle known as Hotel Oscar. Like everyone else in L.A.’s service industry, hoteliers are stretched to the breaking point during the run-up to the big event, with manic requests, full bookings, and all manner of stars, swag and spa services.

Winterized out-of-towners with a hankering for an ocean view make for Santa Monica’s Shutters on the Beach, while much of the New Zealand contingent that invades L.A. thanks to the success of “Lord of the Rings” tends to congregate at the Avalon. But for the most part, the action takes place around a predictable cluster of perennial favorites.

“Celebrities and other VIPs in town for the Oscars care most about privacy, service and amenities,” says one publicist, who transforms her company into a hospitality service when award season rolls around. “All the top hotels -- Peninsula, Beverly Hills Hotel, Regent Beverly Wilshire and the Bel-Air -- offer that and more, so they have been and will continue to be front-runners.”

There’s no danger of having to hobnob with “civilians” at the Peninsula Beverly Hills. “We close the hotel off,” says Serena Mollendorf, sales and marketing coordinator. “You can’t have a reservation in the restaurant unless you’re a guest at the hotel. It makes our celebrities at ease.”

And of course, there’s absolutely no room at the top-tier inn this time of year unless you, or your people, thought ahead. Most properties report being booked months in advance. “A lot of studios will make reservations even though the nominations aren’t out because they think certain films will be nominated,” explains Martha Sullivan, director of marketing for the Four Seasons, another perennial VIP magnet. “They make a reservation and sometimes put just a phony name to hold the room.” Sullivan accommodates the academy’s notorious whimsy by wait-listing everyone until after the nominations are announced. “Then we call them and start confirming reservations at that point.”

Many industry insiders point to ultra-private Chateau Marmont as “the hot spot on Oscar,” as one celebrity wrangler puts it. Except for the complimentary bottle of champagne sent to the nominees, it keeps things business-as-usual. “The people that stay here don’t really want to be fussed over,” explains Frederika Carrion, director of sales. “So we have to be careful not to cross that line.”

The Four Seasons, however, does kick the fuss-factor up a notch. Look for a giant Oscar-themed food-art sculpture (a mosaic integrating themes from all the best picture nominees) in the lobby. The year Erin Brockovich was nominated, for instance, pastry chef Donald Wressell prepared a faucet out of white chocolate with discolored white chocolate coming out so it looks like dirty water. Like the water in Hinkley, Calif., that the sassy Julia Roberts character railed about, these pieces are not meant for human consumption, though each guest is presented with his or her own award-themed confection as well. This year, Wressell’s best picture homage is made of pictures -- movie stills from “Seabiscuit,” “Lost In Translation,” “Mystic River,” “Lord of the Rings” and “Master and Commander” created from sugar.

At Le Meridien at Beverly Hills, the season is celebrated with Oscar-themed drinks at the bar, served on red-carpet coasters.

As for services, expect maximum staffing with an army of beauticians, masseuses, limos and tailors on call. “A lot of our guests want a massage every day or twice a day. People like to be extra-specially pampered during this time,” says Le Meridien’s concierge Norton Morris.

No service too small

And then there are the little things -- crisis management -- where hotels go the extra mile. Extra bow ties and cummerbunds and, for those missing red dresses, “we make arrangements with boutiques locally, which comes in handy because typically the awards are on a Sunday and a lot of places are not open,” says the Peninsula’s Mollendorf.

For those moments when the desire for discreet luxe shades into a hunger for more exuberant consumption, jewelers, booze makers, couture designers and purveyors of everything from beauty products to botox have booked rooms to entice talent, stylists and journos to consume and promote their wares. The phenomenon was at its absurdist peak two years ago, when the L’Ermitage was converted into a veritable Moroccan swag bazaar, with entire floors given over to showrooms by Vidal Sassoon, Johnny Walker, Bacardi and a host of major-label designers. The hallways were chocked with signage, television crews and even a few paparazzi hoping to catch a shot of gift-laden stars.

These days, the scene has become a bit more tempered. L’Ermitage has allowed a few “showroom suites” -- “We handpick the designers, and this year we are doing them by appointment or invitation only,” says L’Ermitage Director of Sales and Marketing Vanessa Williams. “Based on the number of celebrities and guests in the hotel, it got a little difficult for us to maintain their privacy.”

One of the handpicked showrooms, On The Rocks, has featured everything from Doris Panos jewelry to Stockholm Kristal Vodka. The vodka is, of course, on the house, but the rocks too? “It depends on who it is and where they’re going, where they’ll be seen and where they’ll be photographed,” answers Steve Rohr, who represents On The Rocks. “We do both loaners and we do pieces that are given away.” The De Beers by-appointment diamond showroom at the Regent Beverly Wilshire, by contrast, has been a loaner-only affair.

For the most part, the frenzy has subsided a bit, with many showrooms taking over private homes, such as the Badgley Mischka collection, which took up residence at Nancy Davis’ house. “I believe that other hotels,” Williams says, “namely the Meridien, not really catering to celebrity guests, really took most of the designers that are looking for more of a shopping mall kind of feel.”

But what a “mall.” In recent days, the Meridien has run more than 20 showrooms on its floors, including the Natural Color Diamond Assn., designers Stuart Weitzman, Moo Roo handbags and “eyebrow guru” Damone Roberts. “The Oscars is not elitist,” says a Meridien spokesperson, who insists the hotel does have a celebrity clientele but, like everyone else, won’t name names. “They are for everybody. People want to see the jewels. They want to see the glamour. This is part of the entire ambience of the Oscars. It’s not just the awards. It’s about style.”