Hooray for Hollywood

With dozens of leather-bound books lining the shelves, a sleek Art Deco desk attracting the eye, and Camel-emblazoned ashtrays resting on an imposing marble table, this could be the law office of a fashionable attorney. Upon closer examination, however, these tomes are not torts, criminal canons, or forensic files but original manuscripts written in longhand with colored felt-tip pens.

Their titles? “Rock Star,” “Lucky” and “Hollywood Wives,” works by Jackie Collins, empress of raunch -- one who can lay claim to having 400 million copies of her books sold in more than 40 countries. Younger sister of actress Joan Collins, this 62-year-old, once-divorced, once-widowed mother of three has ruled the bestseller roost since 1968, when she first titillated with “The World Is Full of Married Men.”

Her novels, swollen with sex, power and Hollywood dirt, have afforded Collins a life of luxury. Working from her Beverly Hills manse, itself a paean to opulence (she’s got four cars, four ovens and an on-call Russian hairdresser), Collins, suit-clad and flaunting lavish baubles, is plugging her 23rd book, “Hollywood Divorces.” Thinly disguised portraits of Tinseltown players, London-born Collins not only knows where the bodies are buried, she’s probably been privy to their embalmings.

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Your new book begins at the Cannes Film Festival with the requisite glitterati in attendance, including Latina superstar Lola Sanchez. She’s 24 and gorgeous, yet it takes her countless hours -- days even -- to look good. Are we talking J.Lo? And if it takes her so long to doll up, how long does it take you?

I love writing bad girls and I really wanted to write Lola, since there are a number of Latina superstars now -- Penelope Cruz, Salma Hayek, Jennifer Lopez. But [who] she is shall remain nameless. My beauty regime? I’m not a diva. I saw Sharon Osbourne getting Botox on TV. I’m not into that. I’ve only been once to a spa -- for research. I do my own nails, and I’ve never had a facial or massage. I don’t like being touched unless it’s sexual.

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So do you have a man now?

Several. I live my life like a cool bachelor; I have a man for all occasions.

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You once said “most men are dogs.”

Well, there are a lot of nice dogs out there. Men are puppies; they’re like little boys. There are some nice dogs and some really nasty dogs. But you get the good ones -- the faithful that hang around and treat you well and you treat them well -- and that’s it.

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Do you still like watching TV in bed and stuffing your face with Dots?

I love Dots. And Reese’s peanut butter cups. I’m also a complete pop culture junkie. Those are my vices. I’ve got TiVo and watch everything -- “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” “Street Time,” “Sex and the City.”

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What’s up with you and Sharon Stone? Her name’s all over “Hollywood Divorces.”

I was at Cannes when Sharon was there. I love Sharon. I love really strong, interesting women. She gave one of the greatest sex performances on screen in “Basic Instinct.”

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What about “In the Cut” with Meg Ryan?

I felt Meg was trying to do Nicole [Kidman]. She became depressing. I don’t like to see needy women.

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Scandal is to you what shoes were to Imelda Marcos. Any thoughts on Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, gay marriages?

Paris is a nice girl, but if you’re going to tape yourself having sex, you have to keep the tapes. I know Michael. He’s innocent until proven guilty. I wouldn’t have my kids spend the night there, though. I could believe in gay marriages, but it’s very complicated.

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Your sister seems the apotheosis of “Hollywood Divorces,” having recently married again. What number husband is that?

I don’t know how many she’s had. Five?

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How about this: Stephen King recently received the medal for distinguished contribution to American letters, which Harold Bloom called “idiocy.” Would you covet that?

Of course, but I doubt it’ll happen. The New York Times Book Review caters to literary writers. Dickens wasn’t considered literary, and my biggest critics have never read me.

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What’s your secret for such phenomenal success?

It’s a combination of luck and something I believe in. There are lots of sexy books out there that haven’t made tuppence. I’m a storyteller; I write what I want to read.

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-- Victoria Looseleaf