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Just humor me, OK?

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Special to The Times

Here’s the reality show I want to produce: two guys. One girl. No, it’s not that kind of show.

One guy’s average-looking -- a little on the thin side -- hair on his head starting to go (as opposed to the hair on his back, which is coming in just fine, thanks. Believe me, nothing says “you sexy thing” like back hair.)

Still, he’s a snappy dresser, well mannered and, most important, in possession of a working sense of humor. Former stand-up comic. Has a little hair on his shoulders too, for some reason ... and his eyebrows grow at a funny angle ... all right already, it’s me! Sheesh, do I have to spell it out for you?

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OK, the other guy’s Jude Law. Well, he looks like Jude Law, but he’s not. Dashing. British. Great smile. Hair in all the right places. But as fate would have it, he’s sort of a drip. Nice guy, but you wouldn’t label him funny, and he doesn’t get your jokes.

They both have identical salaries, very little baggage and no felony convictions.

The title of my little show? Call it “Last Comic Dating.”

So, which guy gets the girl? Despite what they often profess in their personal-ad profiles -- “I’m looking for someone who can make me laugh” (hmm ... Carrot Top’s available) -- would any L.A. woman really turn down our Law look-alike for an offbeat, onetime comic turned writer?

I can only hope.

Looks fade, you know, but a sense of humor will last you a lifetime. My dad’s pretty funny at 79, but he doesn’t turn heads at the beach. Actually he does, but it’s generally due to the black socks and loafers. (Don’t laugh. He’s dating up a storm.)

Still, unless you’re a seasoned professional comedian like Chris Rock or Ashlee Simpson, your sense of humor may not fly with other people. Back when I was doing stand-up, I used to try way too hard to impress women. I figured if I weren’t entertaining enough, she’d get bored and find someone funnier/better looking/more interesting. That’s a lot of pressure. It’s like you’re on a stand-up date:

“Hi. Welcome to my car. Where ya from?”

“You know where I’m from. You just picked me up.”

“Oh. So, what do you do for a living?”

“I work in marketing.”

“Marketing? Would that be Vons or Pavilions? Hey, what’s the deal with Cheez Whiz?”

“It’s not that kind of marketing.”

“You’ve been a great audience. Don’t forget to tip your waitresses. I’m here all week.”

“I’m leaving now.”

“Try the shrimp. Good night!”

I don’t think I fully understood back then what women meant by “sense of humor.” Turns out they’re not necessarily looking for a guy who can juggle bowling pins and do impressions. I’m guessing it’s more of an attitude -- the ability to laugh at yourself, or find humor when things aren’t going well.

Personally, I adore a woman with a hip sense of humor. Always have. I’d take someone like “Saturday Night Live’s” cute and quirky Tina Fey over the supermodel of the moment any day. Not that either one has ever bothered to phone.

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Still, if you’re planning to hang out at the Improv in order to snare your next boy- or girlfriend, beware: Stand-up comics, especially those just starting out, tend to need lots and lots of attention. Get ready to spend a few hours at Coco’s after the show going over some Martha Stewart punch lines.

Comedy clubs have spotlights for a reason.

Howard Leff can be reached at weekend@latimes.com.

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