Are Schools Building Minds or Machines?

I am employee No. 610282. I am a teacher in the Los Angeles Unified School District. I am working at full capacity to make certain that in my classroom no child will be left behind. To accomplish this goal, I am focused on transmitting all of the state’s content standards in language arts, mathematics, science, social studies, physical education, art, music and health.

Each lesson taught in my classroom is accompanied with the proper posting of the standards. Scripted lessons are read verbatim. For every item of student work posted on classroom bulletin boards, a rubric with the specific standards is provided. The mandated time per day that students spend having standards transmitted for each subject area is duly noted.

District-sanctioned bulletin boards are prominently displayed. Student desks are arranged in the pattern recommended by the district.

Student report cards are now done online. Teachers simply scroll down a long list of standardized teacher comments and choose several for the small comment box.

Throughout the course of one school year I implement six district-mandated standardized tests for language arts, four for mathematics and three for science. There is also more than a week’s worth of state-mandated standardized tests.

And I do these things, for which I am held accountable, in an effort to accomplish the lofty mission of leaving no child behind. To reach this goal, all my students must reach the state proficiency level in each subject tested. Unfortunately, these measures and mechanizations will not enable us to reach that goal. So, to make certain that we do not leave any child behind, I propose the following: First, replace all textbooks with hand-held computers. Teachers can download standardized course textbooks, assignments and assessments. Students can complete all work on their hand-helds and simply send it back to the teachers.

Eventually, all standardized student-teacher interaction will be electronic. And all that sloppy, nonstandard face-to-face communication can be eliminated. However, even with this huge change in the way we educate our children, some will still be left behind. Therefore, something more drastic is needed.

Eventually, we will need to implement a brain augmentation process utilizing a variety of neural implants. We inject each lagging student with a solution containing nanobots. These submicroscopic robots will then travel through the bloodstream into the brain, where they will construct a neural implant. We can then transmit all required standards directly into each child’s brain.

Yet, even with this advanced technology, a few children may still be left behind. If the neural implants do not get the job done, we will need to scan each child’s brain, disassemble it atom by atom and reconstruct it, giving it greater capacity, speed and reliability.

If we stay on course, we will surely reach our goal. Students will cross the human-machine divide, and then, and only then, will we leave no child behind.