A Loaded Response Shoots Holes in a Cautious Mother’s Peace of Mind

My son heard a story at his middle school about a classmate who wanted to play at the house of a new friend. A bit apprehensive, the classmate’s mother phoned the new friend’s mom.

“Do you have firearms in your house?” she asked.

“Yes, one in every room,” the other woman replied.

The caller was taken aback until she realized the other woman thought she had asked if the house had fire “alarms.”

Thanks, maybe: Wendy Mollett made 1 p.m. reservations at a Pasadena restaurant to celebrate her mother’s 91st birthday, only to learn when they arrived that they had to vacate by 2 for a wedding.

“To make up for not warning us when we confirmed,” Mollett said, “the manager kindly offered the following voucher” (see accompanying).

Quipped Mollett: “When I read it, I thought they were grouchy because I complained!”

Retirees in no hurry: Hey, if the Hollywood Christmas Parade can kick off on Nov. 28, then there’s no reason why the Ventura County Retired Teachers Assn. can’t play games with the calendar, points out Ed Schlossman of Thousand Oaks (see accompanying).

“Duh!” awards time: Phil Proctor of Beverly Hills spotted a rather common-sense warning about coffee consumption in a shop (see photo).

I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anyone put a coffee cup on his head, although I do recall a sidewalk preacher who used to orate every summer in front of City Hall with a water cup balanced on his head.

Will -- as relevant as ever: Just the other day I mentioned that actor Will Rogers, the honorary mayor of Beverly Hills in the 1920s, once said that the way to reduce traffic congestion was to limit traffic to only those drivers who’d paid off their cars.

Well, the Wall Street Journal said a variation of this idea was actually being tried.

A number of lenders and car dealerships are teaming up to prevent people who are delinquent on their payments from driving.

“It is made possible,” the newspaper said, “by a new high-tech device -- a small keypad that installs in the dashboard -- that requires drivers to punch in a code provided by their lender before their car will start. If you don’t pay on time, your code stops working.” I haven’t noticed a difference on the freeways yet, but I’m hoping.

miscelLAny: A bared breast at the Super Bowl. A risque promo for TV’s “Monday Night Football.” It really seems as though romance is being cheapened these days, further proof of which is a sign spotted at a library by Roger Bartosh of Coto de Caza (see photo).

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.