Kobe the Kid

It’s hard to square our vision of Kobe Bryant on the basketball court -- all swagger and self-confidence -- with the image of the nervous young man whose clumsy attempt to talk his way out of a rape charge involved offering up to police the alleged sexual exploits of former teammate Shaquille O’Neal as a sort of “everybody’s doing it” defense. But that combination of hubris and naivete shouldn’t shock us. We foster that arrogance when we wrap our sports stars in the suffocating cloak of celebrity.

The Times’ account of Bryant’s accusation that O’Neal has spent up to $1 million buying the silence of sexual partners is sure to churn the talk-show circuit. O’Neal’s agent has called Bryant’s statement untrue and “undeserving of a response.”

But its implication -- that sex is a ubiquitous perk of athletic stardom -- should be no surprise. There’s no denying the sexual cachet of the athlete. Olympic officials acknowledged as much, handing out 130,000 free condoms to the athletes at this summer’s Games.

Professional sports teams offer standard warnings to rookies about the perils of one-night stands, and veterans adhere to unwritten codes -- let a buddy get the woman’s consent and spell out in advance what’s involved; keep a stash of gifts to hand out afterward to minimize “misunderstandings” that might lead to headlines, handcuffs and angry wives.

But years of breathing the rarefied air of celebrity seem to have left Bryant painfully naive. In transcripts of his interrogation by police officers in Colorado, he tries to enlist their help keeping the rape claim secret. “Whatever I need to do without making this thing public, I will do, man,” he tells them.

He worries about his wife’s wrath, his public image, his commercial endorsements, but doesn’t think to ask for a lawyer. He uses teenage slang for body parts and sex acts. He seems perplexed by his accuser: “I can’t believe this girl. What does she want from me?”

For all his talent and wealth, he comes across as a sheltered rube. A lifetime of coddling by handlers and adoration from fans makes it easy for Bryant to buy the buddy-up routine of two cops intent on eliciting a confession. And stuck as he is in perpetual adolescence, the superstar finally resorts to the tactic that little kids use when they’re called on the carpet for misbehavior: Shaq does it all the time, and he doesn’t get in trouble. Does not. Does too.

Enough already. Kobe, go to your room.