A 14-Day Veto, From Maria to Arnold

Lord strike me dead if I didn’t tell people that Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger was in big trouble with wife Maria Shriver during the Republican National Convention. Now the governor has admitted in public that he was banished to the sofa for two weeks after he delivered his big speech in New York.

How did I know he had been cut off, so to speak?

First of all, I watched the convention. Shriver is a Kennedy who loves the camera at least as much as her husband, but she seemed as uncomfortable as Bambi at an NRA jamboree.

Then, at a news conference a couple of days later, Schwarzenegger was uncharacteristically defensive and snippy.

“I cannot be bought,” he told reporters when asked about raking in millions in special interest money after saying he didn’t need a nickel from anyone.

“I cannot be bought,” he said two more times.

Why the nervous tic?

Because Shriver had just notified him she had a headache that would last two weeks.

I don’t know what went wrong in New York. Maybe Arnold’s delivery was a little too pumped up, or maybe he’s still paying for past sins. Hard to figure how these two political opposites click, except that at times, Shriver must see a glimmer of the Kennedy men in Big Boy.

The details of Arnold’s 14-day dry spell would have remained a family secret except that the governor took the wraps off Monday at a gathering of 1,000 people in Monterey.

Former congressman Leon Panetta asked the governor how long it took before his wife spoke to him after his “inspiring” convention speech, and Arnold got even more personal than he did on Oprah, when he used junior high language to say weightlifting was better than sex.

“Well,” Schwarzenegger told Panetta, “there was no sex for 14 days.”

Assuming he was telling the truth, we’re lucky he’s not president. You wouldn’t want the man with his finger on the button to be too jumpy.

The revelation was a fascinating insight not just into the Schwarzenegger marriage, but perhaps into the way we’re being governed. Shriver is clearly wearing the pants on this team. With Arnold, does abstinence make the heart grow more liberal?

Aside from rolling over for the state Chamber of Commerce, Schwarzenegger’s political philosophy is unclear. One explanation is that he’s not the bold reformer and risk-taker he promised to be, instead preferring the safe political middle.

There’s another possibility: Maybe Maria has made it clear that if he leans too far to the right, he’ll fall out of bed.

Take Proposition 71, the stem cell research initiative opposed by conservatives. Schwarzenegger was conflicted, but came out in favor Monday.

Now, look, if true believers and the Catholic Church are righteously opposed to Proposition 71, we know it’s a good choice. And since the bill could be a windfall for business, it couldn’t have been hard for Arnold to give two thumbs up.

But it’s also possible that Maria, whose father has Alzheimer’s, threatened the governor with loss of consortium.

“You want another 14 days, Big Boy?”

Speaking of stiff sentences, any dope knows you never, ever pop off about what happens -- or doesn’t -- between you and your wife. I don’t know what prompted Arnold’s true confession, but if Maria’s on the ball, he’s going to find out that 14 days was a light sentence.

In coming weeks, look for Schwarzenegger to make a desperate swing to the left.

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Steve Lopez can be reached at steve.lopez@latimes.com.