Vanilla Ice returns buff but still bland

Make no mistake: Rob Van Winkle is pure gangsta! He’s thugged-out in the Knitting Factory in his tattoos and his cholo shorts; he’s spewing expletive-laced hip-hop epistles to weed and coke in a metallic rap-rock roar; he’s stepping back to let his DJ recut Terminator X’s famous Public Enemy break, “Hear the drummer get wicked.” And if Van Winkle were anyone other than Vanilla Ice, it might all be working.

To be fair, gangsta rap-rock seems to suit Vanilla Ice better than the bubblegum that dropped him flat after the massive success of 1990’s “Ice Ice Baby,” with its infectious bass hook lifted from the Queen/Bowie hit, “Under Pressure.” He’s buff and wired and aggro, every bit the white suburban motocross guy exhorting the crowd with anti-Osama rants.

But it is the Iceman, and it’s still not working. Recording a live show for an upcoming VH-1 special, Vanilla Ice ran through a throaty but unoriginal set of short tunes channeling familiar rap genres from the crunk of Lil Jon to the classic L.A. gangsterism of Cypress Hill. Backed by an incredible live rock drummer and a DJ, he came out swinging as the original white rapper, barking “I paved the way for Eminem,” but looking more like Kid Rock, then switching to the sounds of the “dirty, dirty South,” and then to an ode to marijuana. None of it sounded very authentic, and Ice himself knows he has a lot to overcome.

“I didn’t change my name like some people thought I did ... ,” he hollered between songs. “It ain’t about gimmicks. It ain’t about image. It’s about the music!”

He’s searching for a new audience, maybe the same rap-rock fans that follow the Insane Clown Posse, and he’s cutting tracks with the likes of Wu Tang Clan and Slipknot. His lyrics talk a lot about how he’s coming back, but, love it or hate it, “Ice Ice Baby” was a pretty catchy song and he’s going to have to rediscover that kind of thrill before he gets over as a G.