Portable Bathroom Humor

Jack Bendar of Pacific Palisades noticed that some L.A. city workers, paving streets in his neighborhood, rigged up a portable toilet with all the comforts of home TV (see photo). Guess they didn’t want to miss “Oprah.”

Bathroom humor (cont.): OK, maybe the satellite dish was a joke. While we’re at it, another tongue-in-cheek item was spotted by Ray Uhler and Alvin Eggink: an ad from the 99 Cents Only store congratulating Barry Bonds on his 999th home run (see accompanying).

Actually, Bonds had just hit No. 699, but that chain sees only 9s. (I’m mentioning this before I’m besieged with clippings from other readers who don’t get the joke.)

What will they think of next? Judi Birnberg of Sherman Oaks found a can opener that also does garden work (see accompanying).

Does this pass the sniff test? Bruce and Carol Wagner of Lake Arrowhead saw a newspaper reference to some nasal aids that I had never heard of (see accompanying).

Hi! My name is Bob and I’ll be your actor today: Norm Sklarewitz tipped me that the reality series “The Restaurant” has put out a call for actors to portray waiters and bartenders on the show. The announcement said actors must have experience in those jobs, as if there are any actors who don’t have restaurant credits.

When I dine out, I don’t mind having an actor as a waiter. I just resent it when it’s an actor who can’t portray a good waiter.

Now, that’s a threat! Satirizing Southern California’s culture, the movie “Cellular” has a scene in which the surfer/hero is on his cellphone, trying to find a kidnapped woman, when the gizmo goes dead. He asks a driver in the next lane of Sunset Boulevard for his phone but is rebuffed. Shouts the desperate hero: “Give me your phone or I’ll shoot your car!” The other driver complies; of course, he was in a brand-new Porsche. There are things more prized than cellphones.

Bad connection: One gun-toting villain in “Cellular” meets his end because he is distracted by his ringing cellphone. Even with the drop on his quarry, and a chance to escape, he can’t resist looking down at the infernal contraption, giving his victims time to vanquish him.

It’s the most apt ending for a Southern California mystery since Michael Connelly’s novel “Lost Light,” in which a bad guy chasing L.A. cop Harry Bosch is foiled when he trips on a bottle of mineral water.

‘Duh!’ Department: Mike Jelf of Lomita bought a tool that was labeled “Digging Shovel” -- “for those suffering confusion about its purpose,” he supposes.

miscelLAny: In case you missed it, disgruntled ex-Laker Gary Payton was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving after he was observed backing down an onramp of the 405 Freeway in West L.A. This is what is known in basketball as a “backcourt violation.”