Pickles Are OK but Hold the Bunions

I’m proud to report that the 2005 Guinness book of records says Los Angeles was the scene of this achievement: “Fastest Sandwich Made Using Only Feet.”

Rob Williams employed his toes to fashion “a bologna, cheese and lettuce sandwich, complete with sliced tomatoes, mustard, mayonnaise, sliced pickles and olives on cocktail sticks” in 1 minute and 57 seconds.

Alas, he’d have had an even faster record if someone had told him to hold the mayo.

Nothing to sneeze at here, either: Then there was Scott Jeckle, who set a never-to-be-broken Guinness record in L.A. by blowing “a marshmallow out of one nostril 16 feet 3 1/2 inches.” No one was injured during the performance.

Speaking of unusual food feats: A manufacturer’s claim that a certain food will melt IN your mouth is one thing. But one local restaurant seemed to claim (or warn) that its waffles can seriously impair your ability to eat (see accompanying).

More food for thought: A reader submitted a menu listing that made sense to me -- after all, how would you feel if you were the pig in question (see accompanying)?

Unclear on the concept: Jack Collin of Duarte noticed that a flier about high school exit exams deserved a failing grade for spelling (see accompanying).

Southland weather: The subject of school reminds me that there seem to be certain meteorological inevitables here: a sunny day for the Rose Parade, gloomy skies at the start of summer and, of course, always a heat wave after classes resume in September.

Maybe the heat got to the kid: A student of college instructor Richard Lorentz, who had handed in a project earlier, presented him with a second version. It was accompanied by a note that said: “Please replace with the older version.”

Now, dad, don’t talk in class! Bill Stephen of Lakewood found a school in Carpinteria that is trying a unique experiment: The kids drop the parents off at the classroom, then drive home (see photo).

miscelLAny: Leave it to Dodger broadcaster Vin Scully to point out an oddity about an Arizona Diamondback player who was ejected from a game for using bad language at Dodger Stadium. The player got the thumb from umpire Andy Fletcher, who wasn’t in a forgiving mood, Scully noted, even though Fletcher lives in Olive Branch, Miss.

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.