Letter Isn’t Exactly a Fond Farewell

Dear Shaq,

I caught your rap “performance” on TV recently. It seems that, even though you got what you wanted, you’re still upset.

I remember when you first hit this town. You were a phenomenon. A big man with skills. Then, as the years rolled by, we saw your skills erode as your weight increased. Ev-er-y year.

Now that you’ve gone, we hear you’re lost the equivalent of a grown person and might even be in shape for a change. Thanks a lot.

I guess the $30 million a year you got wasn’t enough incentive to stay in shape in L.A. That’s OK. Water over the dam. I have two remarks:

1. Anyone who gives you the “Lo Duca treatment” when you haul the Heat to Staples has guacamole between his/her ears.

2. Shut the hell up.

Eric Monson

Temecula