If McCourt Needs a Ride, She Just Has to Give a Call

Margaret Farnum, the Coliseum’s chief administrative officer, extended an invitation for Thursday’s unveiling of a Jackie Robinson bronze plaque in the Memorial Court of Honor, while also mentioning that Jamie McCourt will be one of the guest speakers.

“She’ll need an escort,” Farnum said, and I told her to just have the Screaming Meanie call and tell me when and where to pick her up.

“Now don’t get me in trouble, or I’ll call Salma Hayek on you,” Farnum said.

“You get me Salma Hayek,” I told Farnum, “and you can tell Jamie McCourt to start hitchhiking.”

*

I PASSED on the Jamie and Frankie McCourt media day barbecue Monday because the invitation didn’t specify whether they were going to be serving food or looking for someone to roast.

I also had a conflicting appointment, meeting with Pat Williams, the Orlando Magic vice president who drafted Shaquille O’Neal and then lost him to the Lakers, basically eliminating his team from championship competition forever, thereby affording him the time to write 37 books, including his latest, “How To Be Like Jackie Robinson.”

(Come to think of it, Mitch Kupchak, author, sounds a lot better than Mitch Kupchak, general manager.)

Well, anyway, I’ve always been a big fan of Williams’ big heart and how wacky he can be. He has 19 kids -- 14 adopted from foreign countries -- and claims the great sports genius Bill Veeck as his mentor. He has also climbed Mt. Rainier and has caught pitches thrown by Bob Feller and Bob Gibson. You can see why he has no interest in catching any of the Dodger pitchers.

Williams is working on a John Wooden book, which will follow the publication of two other books, “Who Wants to Be a Champion?” and “Turn Boring Orations into Standing Ovations.”

“We must blot the world of all boring speeches,” Williams said, and I told him he should be talking to Angel Manager Mike Scioscia about that.

*

THE PLAQUE for Robinson, who played football for UCLA when the Bruins competed in the Coliseum, will include many of his accomplishments along with this postscript: “#42 -- An enduring symbol of a stellar athlete, a man of courage and a life lived well.”

It will also include a Robinson quote: “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives,” which explains why Williams got so much cooperation from those who crossed paths and admired the player who broke the color barrier in baseball -- 58 years ago this Friday.

Williams identified 870 players still living from Robinson’s era, and successfully interviewed 770 of them for his book, which sells for less than $15.

“It was like your baseball cards coming to life,” he said. “I had the highest regard for Jackie before I started, but after talking to everyone and learning about the courage he displayed, I think we’re talking about one of the 10 most significant lives in history.

“When a son points to the No. 42 hanging on the outfield wall in Dodger Stadium and says, ‘What does that 42 mean?’ I hope his father says that’s Jackie Robinson, raised in Pasadena, and a man who went on to impact the face of baseball and America forever.”

*

WHEN I asked Williams whether he had a book in mind Kupchak could write, he said, “How Do I Win the [NBA] Lottery?”

*

I ASKED Magic Johnson whether Phil Jackson is his No. 1 choice to coach the Lakers. “I think that would be everybody’s first choice,” he said.

“Including Kobe?” I asked.

“I don’t speak for Kobe,” Magic said.

“But you said ‘everybody,’ ” I reminded him.

“Dr. [Jerry] Buss, Mitch and myself,” Magic said. “That’s what I mean by everybody.”

So everybody but Kobe?

*

MAGIC SAID the biggest jokester on the 1985 Lakers was Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Why sure, Letterman, Leno and Abdul-Jabbar.

*

I ASKED Coach Frank Hamblen whether his team ever had a chance to be successful this season, and he said, when Vlade Divac was out in training camp, “I told my wife, it looks like a 35-40 win season.”

The Lakers are on track to win between 35 and 40 games.

*

KIMBERLY LOCKE, an “American Idol” loser, sang the national anthem at the Laker game. She is scheduled to sing the anthem at today’s Dodger opener, and I wonder whether McCourt somehow got a two-for-one discount.

*

THE CALIFORNIA Horse Racing Board filed a complaint against Sweet Catomine’s owner for allegedly deceiving the public, and filed a complaint against a driver for taking the horse off the grounds for medical treatment and lying about it.

I’m sure it’s the first time the betting public has been deceived....

*

... WELL, MAYBE the second time. Trainer Jeff Mullins was caught cheating earlier at Santa Anita and his horses were sent to a detention barn, and then he called anyone who comes to the track “a [gambling] addict or an idiot.”

Mullins’ Buzzards Bay, a 30-1 longshot, won the Santa Anita Derby -- the same race that had the deceived public sending off Sweet Catomine as the favorite -- prompting Daily Racing Form reporter Jay Privman to write: “After a winter in which he became the poster boy for milkshake testing, then became an even more polarizing figure because of quotes attributed to him by a local columnist, Jeff Mullins had the last laugh on Saturday.”

I wouldn’t be shocked if Mullins got a laugh at the deceived public’s expense -- only surprised that a reporter for a horse racing publication would imply that’s a turn of good fortune.

*

EVERYONE MADE such a big deal about Tiger Woods’ chip shot on No. 16 in which he hit the ball about 20 feet left of the pin. I’ve seen Sports Editor Bill Dwyre do that at least 100 times, most of the time without even trying.

*

TODAY’S LAST word comes in e-mail from Jorge Viramontes:

“Jeff Mullins is God!”

That’s inside horse racing info you could’ve kept to yourself.

*

Simers can be reached at t.j.simers@ latimes.com. To read previous columns by Simers, go to latimes.com/simers.