Some People Will Do Anything for a Taste of Fame
A crime log item in the Beach Reporter said a Hermosa Beach woman complained that her dentures disappeared from her bathroom in the night, presumably stolen.
I’ve always considered myself a pretty good amateur detective and I took note of the room where the choppers were last seen and the fact that nothing else was pilfered.
I wondered whether the dentures had fallen into the toilet.
Just such a mishap occurred to an L.A. woman some years ago, only she spotted them. And when she tried to pull them out, her hand became stuck.
Her husband summoned the Fire Department, whose spokesman said later, “We were able to save her hand but not her dentures.” In a rare moment of compassion back then, I decided not to have fun at the woman’s expense and write about her loss.
A few days later, she showed up as a guest on “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno.” I had forgotten I was living in L.A., where everyone dreams of being a celeb -- of some sort.
Someone’s all wet: When I received my issue of the Reef Seeker, I thought, ‘Wow, the Beverly Hills scuba-diving publication could be a big Pulitzer Prize winner next year with its three incredible scoops’ (see accompanying):
* Plans to build (at long last) a 26-mile-long bridge across the sea
* A civil service opening for divers, and
* The naming rights to the Pacific Ocean being sold to a certain mogul.
It was only when I noticed the date of the publication that I grew somewhat less sure of its Pulitzer prospects.
And in this related development: It’s a story with an ocean angle, but it’s no April Fool’s joke. For reasons known only to the real estate agent, Nancy Stewart of Whittier received a piece of junk mail addressed to her family’s sailboat (see accompanying).
Doomsday, again: Bill Pullman, who’s the star of “Revelations,” the end-of-the-world TV miniseries, is an old hand when it comes to catastrophes.
In “Independence Day” (1996), he was the president of the United States during a Martian attack on Earth. The little green men zeroed in on Southern California while his wife was there, leading him to issue her this memorable order via telephone from Washington: “I really want you to leave Los Angeles.” How dicey was it? Well, a newscaster went on the air to say, “Once again, the LAPD is asking Los Angelenos not to fire their guns at the spacecraft.” Hate that interstellar road rage.
Magazine cover jinx: Usually it’s Sports Illustrated that runs a piece extolling some athlete who then promptly falls on his or her face. This time, the Sporting News’ Golf 2005 Preview had sort of a reverse problem. The magazine came out just before Tiger Woods’ Masters win with an issue whose headline said: “Has Tiger Been Tamed?”
Can just imagine the editors saying, “Grrrr.”
miscelLAny: An article in the Wall Street Journal talks about an agency that temporarily fixes up workers in jobs they’ve always wanted to try.
“You can sample everything from architect to cowboy-boot maker and golf pro to zookeeper,” the piece said. “A Los Angeles lawyer did a one-day stint as a dog day-care business owner.”
Seems like a natural transition, going from handling legal briefs to cleaning up after pooches.
Reach Steve Harvey at (800) LATimes, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712 or e-mail steve.harvey@latimes.com.