Who is the top dog?

With due respect to the Big Apple and the Windy City, L.A.’s one heck of a hot dog town. Our specialty is variety. We’ve got Pink’s, Rubin’s, Skooby’s and Tail o’ the Pup, not to mention the oversized Dodger Dog (grilled, please), the you’ve-gotta-try-this-once Oki Dog (two wieners, chili, pastrami and cheese in a tortilla), those bacon-wrapped wienies sold from pushcarts outside nightclubs -- even a Nathan’s Famous on Pico for East Coasters on the Westside.

We also have Wienerschnitzel, the country’s largest hot dog chain and home to some seriously cute antenna toppers. Lacking the crisp casing of superior dogs, a ‘Schnitzel dog is, at best, adequate in satisfying a hot dog jones. So how does it fare in its recent incarnation, being dressed with pastrami, Swiss, a pretzel bun and a pickle wedge?

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Wienerschnitzel’s Pastrami Dog

Taste

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Quality varies from ‘Schnitzel to ‘Schnitzel, but it’s never up to snuff. The pastrami’s either bland or gristly, and the pretzel bun’s either too dry or too chewy. What’s worse, the pickle wedge that’s wedged beside the wiener is overwhelming.

Diet Watch

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Drive-By estimates this dog at about 500 calories. Not bad if you eat only one, but swallow a second with a side of fries and the only diet you’ll be fit for is ‘Schnitzel’s Chili Dog Diet.

Portability

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It’s messy, so handle with care, or the precarious pastrami can land in your lap, and your hand may turn yellow from TMM (Too Much Mustard).

Hype-o-meter

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Despite it all, it’s hard to fault their advertising. They do their best with the hand they’re dealt, and that frantic, frightened hot dog dude is entertaining for kids.

* Ratings are on a scale of one (lowest) to four (best).