Good Thing He Didn’t Volunteer for a Shave

Whether any of the Texas El Paso seniors are cut out for careers as football players remains to be seen. But this much is clear: None will go into hairstyling if football doesn’t pan out.

Nate Poss, the Miners’ assistant director of football operations, allowed the seniors to give him a haircut in an effort to build unity. When they finished, Poss was left with uneven patches all over his head and had to ask the coaches to clean up the players’ handiwork.

“There were clumps on my back and side, and we took them off before I took these guys to church,” Poss told the El Paso Times. “I didn’t want to look like a total freak.”

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More UTEP: Coach Mike Price has different methods to inspire unity.

On Tuesday he had the offense assemble one bike and the defense assemble another, and today will donate both bikes to children in the community.

Let’s hope the players are better with tools than they are with shears and the bikes stay together.

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Trivia time: Who holds the record for home runs in the major leagues in August and how many did he hit?

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Cool ambition: Former Raider receiver Tim Brown is trying to start a NASCAR team, with hope of becoming the first African American owner.

As he told the Dallas Morning News, “Right now, it’s not too cool to wear a Dale Earnhardt Jr. jacket in the neighborhood. We want to make it cool.”

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Staying put: Edgerrin James of the Indianapolis Colts can say he has been to Tokyo and back -- but is he ever glad to be home.

The running back, who carried three times for 20 yards in a 27-21 exhibition loss to the Atlanta Falcons, had threatened to boycott the game because he can’t stand flying.

“I ain’t never flown 15 hours,” he told the Sporting News. “I have the whole off-season to see the world, and I still don’t go anywhere.”

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Secret agent? Atlanta Brave pitcher John Smoltz was asked by ESPN the Magazine to share his most forgettable moment and recalled that it came during his rookie season at the team hotel in San Francisco.

“I was pretending I was an FBI guy, hiding behind pillars and stuff,” Smoltz said. “I did an army roll in front of the elevator and came up like I was shooting. The doors opened and my hand was pointed at the GM. He said, ‘Nice move.’ I was so embarrassed.”

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Crazy concept: Columnist Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, returning from vacation, offered a belated congratulations to cyclist Lance Armstrong for winning a record seventh Tour de France.

“Probably good he retired,” Cote noted. “Organizers were so desperate to give somebody else a chance they’d planned to pass a rule requiring Lance to ride one of those 1890s-style bicycles with enormous front wheels.”

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Trivia answer: Rudy York of the Detroit Tigers hit 18 homers in August 1937.

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And finally: From Jay Leno on NBC: “Record heat all across the nation this weekend, especially on the East Coast. In fact, it was so hot in Baltimore, Rafael Palmeiro switched to injecting himself with Freon.”