A Hanger-On Is Born

British transplant Claire Fordham might have expected to be a wallflower when the fortysomething divorced mother of two decided to try life in Los Angeles, a town full of young, glamorous household names. But thanks to the “somebody” status of her sister, singer-songwriter Julia Fordham, Claire, a freelance journalist, hit the big-time as a “Plus One”--namely, Julia’s tag-along guest at industry parties, screenings and backstage cliques at concerts. A fast learner, Fordham has parlayed her fabulous obscurity into a new memoir, “Plus One: A Year in the Life of a Hollywood Nobody” (Kensington Publishing Corp.). We checked in at her modest Santa Monica digs to find out whether secondhand fame has gone to her head, and to get the lowdown on how she let George Clooney slip through her fingers.

Where exactly does a “Plus One” fit in the Los Angeles party hierarchy?

Very, very low down the totem pole. You’re the guest’s guest. You’re that person who doesn’t get invited in their own right, but if someone gets invited to a party or an opening in Hollywood, so they don’t have the indignity of having to go on their own, they’re allowed to take a Plus One. It could be their spouse or their agent or their mother or their whomever. You have to have no ego whatsoever. Concerts tend to be faceless, but if you go to a big premiere or a launch of something, people are on the lookout to see who’s there and who’s not. Then you have that double take--”Who’s she?” . . . “Nobody.”

Who are below Plus Ones in the pecking order?

Oh, the food catering staff. Thank God for that. The great thing about Hollywood is that even your waiters and waitresses and the caterers usually have a fantastic story to tell. In England, if you’re a waitress it’s because you can’t do anything else. But here, you’re probably an actor or a writer or something else, so there’s no shame. I met this guy who was a working actor, working as a bartender at a party, and this Hollywood celebrity was chatting to him, and they got on really well. “My God, you’re so fabulous and I’m having a party next week. You really should come.” He was thinking he’s been invited as a guest, but of course, he was invited to help with drinks.

What does a Plus One wear on the sidelines?

You can’t go wrong with media black. But I’m trying to break out now that I’ve got my book out.

Can’t you label-drop a little?

Can I just remind you, I am a Hollywood nobody. I’m a Gap girl. Anthropologie on a good day. J.Crew, Banana Republic. But if the day ever comes, I aspire to Armani.

What’s the event that got away? What would you have died to get into?

Oprah’s Legends Ball. It was in Santa Barbara at Oprah’s place. Do you like when I say “Oprah,” like I know her?

Did you have any culture shock as a Brit in L.A.?

Going to yoga. If it was a class where you start off with an “om,” I couldn’t do it. I’ve got that repressed British thing. I couldn’t even say “namaste” at the end of the class. It took my sister 18 months to get me to go. Now I love it. I go twice a week to Sacred Movement on Main Street [in Venice]. And that’s very hard to say without laughing.

You’re quite a departure from the stereotype of European disdain for tacky, philistine Los Angeles.

It’s very hard to make it in this town if you’re a foreigner. If you hear Brits slagging California and the lifestyle, it’s usually the ones who came here and couldn’t make it.

What’s your most treasured Plus One memory?

When I met George Clooney, my fantasy boyfriend. One reason for moving here was, I’ve got more of a chance of meeting George Clooney if I live in the same country as him. My sister introduced us at a screening of his movie “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.” We jumped up and down when we got back to the car.

Do you still have one eye out for George?

No. Every woman wants to sleep with him--all those tall, skinny, thin, rich, fabulous young actresses. It would never have worked out.

In your fantasies, who would play you in the movie?

Cate Blanchett. Of course, I’d [also] like an American actress to play me, because what does an American actress playing a Brit mean? Oscar nomination.

Now that you’re a published author, are you getting your own invites?

Yes. I feel like I’m home.