EIGHT JOKES

The White House has released a 35-page plan titled our “National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.” Now President Bush refuses to set a timetable for reading it.

-- DAVID LETTERMAN

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President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs and give them hope. If it works there, maybe we’ll try it in New Orleans.

-- JAY LENO

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The L.A. Times reports that the United States is now paying Iraqi newspapers to run stories secretly written by us about all the wonderful things the United States is doing in Iraq. You know, like establishing freedom of the press.

-- LENO

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The U.S. military

is being accused of paying Iraqi newspapers to publish fake articles that support President Bush. When he heard about it, Bush was furious and said, “Why aren’t they doing that in American newspapers?”

-- CONAN O’BRIEN

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President Bush said that people who cross the border illegally will be sent back to their own countries. You know what that means: Maybe our troops are coming home.

-- LENO

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Saddam Hussein was back in court. They said that Hussein remained defiant and acted as if he was still in power. Kind of like the Democrats here.

-- LENO

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During his trial, Saddam Hussein spent part of his time in court writing a poem. Apparently, he kept interrupting the judge to ask, “What rhymes with ‘spider hole?’ ”

-- O’BRIEN

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Baghdad’s trial of Saddam Hussein picked up after a five-week hiatus saw two of the former dictator’s defense attorneys killed and a third leave the country.

It was discovered a key witness against Hussein was also found dead -- although, on the bright side, that witness died of cancer. I believe in Iraq that is a very hopeful sign.

-- JON STEWART