Abrasive but heavenly

Seeking serenity at a day spa would be a great idea if L.A. traffic weren’t such a buzz kill. What’s the point of having a relaxing massage or pedicure if I’m frazzled by the time I get home? The obvious solution is to let the pamperers tangle with rude drivers and hunt for a parking space while I, the princess in her cozy tower, await.

Fred Segal Beauty is one place that understands my royal needs. Its mobile division brings to anyone’s home the services, such as facials and haircuts, that celebrities have long ordered in. The charge for a microdermabrasion is $250, which is 100% to 150% more than it would be at its Santa Monica salon and day spa. I hope I’m not suffering from creeping agoraphobia. I can’t claim that paparazzi hide in the bushes waiting to capture me at my worst, but it’s a law of the feminine universe that just when you’ve had a facial and your hair’s a mess and your skin looks worse than naked, you’ll bump into someone (your boss, ex-mother-in-law?) whom you’d prefer to see only when camera-ready.

But the best part about having an aesthetician perform a microdermabrasion treatment chez nous is I’m in control-freak heaven. I get to place my own CDs on the carousel. I can leave the French doors open, letting the cool afternoon breeze drift in. While the facialist sets up, I can read from a selection of my magazines, or grab a soda from my fridge. Don’t get me started on the water, with orange or lemon slices adrift, that is standard day spa fare. Yuck.

Microdermabrasion is a conditioning treatment that uses a controlled stream of aluminum oxide crystals to sandblast the top layer of facial skin. A kind of ultra-facial, it was once done only by plastic surgeons and dermatologists, and it requires a special machine.

Mitra Khazeni arrives 10 minutes early for my session. She plugs in a “microdermabrader” about the size of a space heater and assembles a padded massage table. I offer her a drink (the temptation to be a hostess is difficult to avoid), but she has a bottle of water for me. She has brought everything -- lotions and potions, towels, a strapless terry covering to wrap around my upper body.

The man of the house has been temporarily banished, but Oreo, our Alaskan malamute and a natural beauty, is confused by the living room’s temporary transformation. I never find my dog annoying, but I can understand why some people would want to escape to a spa to be free of pets and children.

Once the skin polishing phase is completed, my face is covered with a soothing, moisturizing mask. Next Khazeni applies lotion to my hands, arms and shoulders and massages them. That feels so good that I’m grateful to be able to continue relaxing when she’s finished.

I take it as a good omen that as I go upstairs to nap, Bryan Adams is singing “18 Till I Die.”

Cost: Massage, $150 to $225; wardrobe styling, $175 an hour; haircut, $150; eyebrow wax, $50; European facial, $150

Contact: (310) 451-3808; shop.fredsegalbeauty.com