Finally, a gal pal on set

Connie Nielsen will never be one of the guys.

The Danish actress has worked with many of the biggest male names in the business, including Ridley Scott, Russell Crowe, Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Robin Williams, Wes Anderson, Ben Stiller, Tommy Lee Jones, William Friedkin, Samuel L. Jackson and John Travolta.

And while she always got along just fine with the men on such films as “Gladiator,” “Devil’s Advocate,” “Basic” and “One Hour Photo,” she couldn’t help feeling a bit left out of their camaraderie. “I’ve always been kind of the gal among all the guys on set,” Nielsen, 39, said from her adopted hometown of New York City. “And the guys were all pals.”

The title of her latest film, “Brothers,” which opens Friday, sounds like yet another opportunity to be the odd woman out. But the movie is her first with a female director. And she loved every minute of it.

“This time we were the pals,” she said of her relationship with director Susanne Bier, “and the boys were the ones on the other side of the sexual barrier, for once. It was a great feeling.” By her estimate, women made up more than 60% of the crew.

In the film, a Danish soldier goes off to war in Afghanistan, leaving behind his wife, children and a prodigal brother. The horror he faces while at war is brought home, and his wife Sarah (Nielsen) must bear the brunt of it.

“I don’t think a male would have made such an honest description of family life,” the actress said of the domestic scenes, which are at turns tender and brutal. (Bier also co-wrote the script, with Anders Thomas Jensen.) “Men tend to idealize family life, whereas women have a little bit more of a realistic attitude toward that family.”

“Brothers” marks the first Danish film Nielsen has appeared in (she left Denmark for Paris at 18 and has been working steadily since). But this homecoming has been a good move, as Nielsen won best actress awards from the San Sebastian Film Festival and the Danish Academy Awards for her performance. The movie won the Audience World Cinema Award for drama at this year’s Sundance Film Festival too.

Nielsen considers Sarah her most feminine role to date. “Not feminine as in pretty or anything -- that you cannot say, because I’m not wearing any makeup and it’s shot in high-definition video, so you see every blemish,” she said. But she played a more nurturing and understanding woman than she herself would have been, if faced with the character’s difficulties.

“Me, I would definitely fight tooth and nail,” if she or her family were threatened as the family is in the movie. “So to give into that yielding character has been interesting,” she said, and a direct consequence of working with Bier as opposed to a male director.

Out on the promotional trail, Nielsen has watched as interviewers co-opted the film to reflect their own political views. “All of a sudden this movie is seen under the guise of ‘Connie Nielsen plays a wife whose husband goes off to fight the war on terror,’ as if this is a movie to promote this. Then I’ve had the opposite where ‘this is a movie about the terrible consequences of war,’ ” she said with some frustration.

“And I really just want to say that this is a movie that looks at the human cost of going to war, and I think that’s a fair and necessary thing to do at this time.”

Nielsen is heading this week to Morocco to star in “The Situation,” directed by Philip Haas (“Angels and Insects”), about a female reporter in Iraq -- but quickly preempts any leading question about her choice of films.

“I’m not interested in making dogmatic political statements. I’m an actor, I’m an artist, I’m not a politician. But I am interested in the world around us, in finding out for myself what does all this mean.”

Nielsen, who has lived in New York for almost eight years with her son, Sebastian, cannot become a U.S. citizen because Denmark doesn’t allow for dual citizenships. Nor does it allow Danes who have lived outside the country for more than two years to vote there, which has left her feeling disenfranchised. “I’m thinking of mounting a parliamentary campaign about it,” she mused. It seems the only thing that Nielsen doesn’t care to discuss is her personal life, although she confirmed that she is dating Metallica drummer (and fellow Dane) Lars Ulrich.

She will, however, discuss how odd it is that people care. In Europe, as an actor, “you can live a private life that allows you to continue to grow in your craft and continue to be an observer of human behavior.”

But when she first arrived in the U.S., “it scared me that you were kind of forced into a huge PR machine. It’s taken quiet a while to get used to some of these things that are taken as part of the job.”

Nielsen has gotten the hang of it pretty well. She will be seen this summer in the World War II epic “The Great Raid” with Benjamin Bratt and Joseph Fiennes, and then this fall in the black comedy “Ice Harvest” with John Cusack and Billy Bob Thornton. Surrounded by men again, but clearly able to stand her ground.