Rank Amateurs

USC Coach Pete Carroll stood up at Pac-10 media day last month and said, “I’m as pumped up as I’ve been.”

Two thoughts:

1. Easy for him to say.

2. The feeling may not be mutual at Temple.

We last left college football as Carroll’s Trojans were carving up Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl and carving out a piece of history.

USC players have mugged for every magazine cover this summer except “Wine Spectator,” and the team opens Saturday at Hawaii on a quest to become the first school to win three consecutive Associated Press national titles -- whatever that means now that AP has pulled its poll out of the bowl championship series formula.

The way we figure it, in fact, there may be three of four national titles up for grabs this year.

Hang with us here.

USC could win the AP crown but not the BCS title. That happened two years ago.

What about this new Harris poll? A school could finish No.1 in the inaugural index that will be used in the BCS formula. But what if the Harris No. 1 finishes third in the final BCS standings, can’t play in the BCS title game (Jan. 4 this year, in the Rose Bowl) then wins its bowl game?

You think the words “Harris” and “National Champs” won’t appear on a T-shirt next spring in that school’s book store?

Then, there is talk in Atlanta of a new “Masters Coaches Survey,” a poll involving retired coaches such as Vince Dooley coming to their own championship conclusions.

To think, the BCS was formed in 1998 to clarify the title process.

College football, to say the least, is unique.

In what other sport do they enlist 114 members for a new poll in the off-season but order media guides cut to 208 pages?

Where else can the University of Pittsburgh scold you for calling the school “Pitt” and then change its mind and say “Pitt’ is OK again?

Where else can you get Texas playing Ohio State for the first time?

How many other sports:

* Offer a territory manager for Blue Bell Creameries in Louisiana the chance to help select the national champion?

* Could implement instant replay in nine of the 11 conferences? Isn’t that like having a three-second rule for 28 of 30 NBA teams?

* Would think to put first-year Coach Ron Zook on the cover of the Illinois media guide and proclaim him “Leader,” “Teacher,” “Recruiter,” “Winner”? If Zook were all those things, why did Florida fire him?

Spring football has sprung, the summer is setting and Steve Spurrier is back in the college ranks -- it doesn’t get any better than that.

There are 23 coaching changes this year, so pardon our gloss-over.

Know that Notre Dame has a new coach, Charlie Weis, and Washington has the Irish’s old coach, Tyrone Willingham, and that Notre Dame plays at Washington on Sept. 24.

Know that Urban Meyer left Utah for Florida, and that Nick Saban left Louisiana State for the Miami Dolphins, replacing Dave Wannstedt, who takes over at Pitt for Walt Harris, who moved on to Stanford.

Not to be confused with Mike Sanford, who begins his first year as coach at Nevada Las Vegas while Barry Alvarez enters his last at Wisconsin (although he’ll stay on as athletic director).

This just in ... we think the song “All Around the Mulberry Bush” has just ended in the conference realignment game of musical chairs.

If you’re confused, get a pen, join the crowd and write this down:

Boston College turned out the lantern on the Big East and follows turncoats Miami and Virginia Tech to the Atlantic Coast, forming a new 12-team league that will split into two divisions and hold a championship game for no good reason other than money.

Louisville, South Florida and Cincinnati move up from Conference USA to the Big East; Texas Christian bolts from Conference USA to the Mountain West and Texas El Paso moves from the Western Athletic to Conference USA.

And the Big Ten still has 11 teams.

There are enough big games this year to build a sabbatical around.

Don’t miss:

Sept. 3: Boise State at Georgia in the battle of Spud vs. Uga.

Sept. 5: Miami at Florida State. Funny they moved this game to Labor Day weekend just as both franchises are showing signs of slippage.

Sept. 10: Texas at Ohio State. These storied teams meet for the first time in what could be an elimination game for the national title.

Sept. 17: Tennessee at Florida. Meyer gets his first real helping of Southern fried football.

Oct. 1: USC at Arizona State. This one has national title implications for both schools if Arizona State beats LSU on Sept. 10.

Oct. 8: Oklahoma vs. Texas. Storied schools meet in what could be an elimination game for Mack Brown.

Oct. 15: USC at Notre Dame. Many pine for the good old days, when it was actually a rivalry.

Oct. 22: Michigan at Iowa. Wake up and smell the grass stains?

Nov. 19: Ohio State at Michigan. Here’s a shock: It may decide the Big Ten title.

Dec. 3: UCLA at USC. Loser leaves town -- or goes back to Westwood.

Ten predictions you can take to the banks of the Olentangy:

1. There will be another BCS screw-up. In seven years since its inception, the BCS has come clean only three years: 1998 (Tennessee), 1999 (Florida State) and 2002 (Ohio State).

This year, the BCS adds the new Harris poll to its three-pronged formula for picking the title-game participants.

What could go wrong this time?

Try this: Purdue goes undefeated and wins the Big Ten title, is the only unbeaten team in the country, but finishes third, or fourth or fifth in the BCS standings because of lagging schedule strength, the result of not playing Michigan or Ohio State this year.

2. USC quarterback Matt Leinart will not become the second player to win two Heisman Trophies. Archie Griffin did it for Ohio State in 1974 and ‘75, but those were the days before ESPN and waning attention spans and talk of Leinart being “so last Tuesday.”

Nightmare scenario: Leinart develops a blister on his big toe in that ballroom dancing class and has to alter his throwing motion, injuring his arm.

In that event, expect voters to crown a new Heisman king among: Reggie Bush (USC), Adrian Peterson (Oklahoma), Vince Young (Texas), Gerald Riggs (Tennessee) or Ted Ginn Jr. (Ohio State).

3. After five consecutive losses, Texas finally beats Oklahoma. Texas has more talent, a returning superstar quarterback in Young and the odds in its favor.

This is the year they carry Mack Brown off the field at the Cotton Bowl, and the talk turns to national titles in Austin.

And the year Texas blows it all by losing at Texas A&M; on Nov. 25?

4. Mark this down: Notre Dame will play in the Rose Bowl for first time since 1925.

This year, for the national title on Jan. 4?

Heavens no.

But the Irish do visit UCLA in 2007.

5. If Tennessee has a chance to score “half-a-hundred” points on first-year South Carolina Coach Steve Spurrier in Knoxville, on Oct. 29, the Vols will do it.

And Spurrier, who was accused of running up scores when he coached at Florida, will understand.

“Now I sort of realize why team didn’t like us, we kept trying to score in the games,” Spurrier said this summer. “In football, you’re not supposed to do that.”

6. Penn State will rebound from 4-7 and go to a bowl. With that schedule, how could the Nittany Lions not? They open with home games against South Florida, Cincinnati and Central Michigan, play at Northwestern and return home for Minnesota. Isn’t that 5-0 out of the box?

7. Rutgers will lose to Villanova or Buffalo but beat Pittsburgh or Louisville.

8. Forty outraged people will propose a 16-team playoff for college football not knowing that the BCS signed a four-year deal with Fox that, beginning next year, will protect the status quo through 2009.

9. Bobby Bowden, entering his 30th year as Florida State coach, will grab the headset against Miami on Sept. 5 and wonder what the dad-gum is going on at quarterback.

10. The national title game in this year’s Rose Bowl will be throw-back Pac-10/ Big Ten affair featuring No.1 USC against, pick one: Iowa, Michigan or Ohio State -- but not Purdue.

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(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX)

* Sept. 3, Notre Dame at Pittsburgh: OK now to call one school “Pitt” for short and the other “Notre.”

* Sept. 5, Miami at Florida State: This made-for-television Labor Day rivalry is certainly no labor of love.

* Sept. 10, Texas at Ohio State: First-ever meeting between schools but mascots are former college roommates.

* Sept. 17, Oklahoma at UCLA: Coach must win to keep fans off back; big game for Dorrell too.

* Sept. 24, Notre Dame at Washington: Irish cut Willingham last severance check in emotional pre-game ceremonies.

* Oct. 1, USC at Arizona State: Billed in some quarters as “Wake Me Up When September Ends.”

* Oct. 8, Oklahoma vs. Texas: Mack Brown circles date on calendar as Longhorn fans circle the wagons.

* Oct. 15, USC at Notre Dame: Irish say if they can’t beat the Trojans this year they will join them.

* Oct. 22, Purdue at Wisconsin: Badgers’ AD (Alvarez) pays tribute to retiring coach (Alvarez).

* Oct. 27, Boston College at Virginia Tech: Oh how Big East still wishes this was its Game of the Week.

* Oct. 29, Oklahoma at Nebraska: Cornhuskers plan to “dishonor” Lawrence Phillips at halftime ceremony.

* Nov. 5, Tennessee at Notre Dame: Vol fans view this as a speed bump on road to national title.

* Nov. 12, USC at California: Harris survey reveals half of Harris voters will be asleep by time game ends.

* Nov. 19, Ohio State at Michigan: Winner of this game ... could make Purdue the Big Ten champs.

* Nov. 25, Texas at Texas A&M;: This game always goes well with Thanksgiving Day leftovers.

* Nov. 26, Florida State at Florida: First-year Gators’ Coach Urban Meyer told he might need earplugs for this one.

* Dec. 3, UCLA at USC: Bruin win could knock Trojans into Las Vegas Bowl against Wyoming.

Chris Dufresne

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Where to watch

* ABC: Will televise 31 Saturday games on the West Coast, plus five bowl games, highlighted by the national championship game at Rose Bowl.

* ESPN, ESPN2 and ESPNU: Will combine to televise approximately 185 regular-season and 38 postseason games, including 20 bowl games.

* CBS: Will televise Southeastern Conference games, beginning Sept. 17.

* NBC: Will televise Notre Dame home games, beginning Sept. 17.

* FSN and TBS: Will televise Pacific 10 and Big 12 games.

* FSNW or FSNW2: Will televise any USC or UCLA games not picked up by ABC, ESPN, FSN or TBS.

* CSTV: Will televise 37 games.

* PAX: Through an arrangement with CSTV, will televise seven Saturday night games, beginning Oct. 1.