Would You Date These Shoes?
What did former President Clinton’s 25 pairs of custom-made cowboy boots say about the man? Uber-urban cowboy or our own home-grown Imelda Marcos? Ditto Steven Spielberg’s scuffed sneakers. Devil-may-care bohemian or suburban Peter Pan? Totems of inner workings, shoes aren’t just footwear but personality resumes. Whether a flamboyant pair of Caribbean-print Keds, pony-hair Guccis, ornate wingtip suede boots or traditional olive oxfords--shoes shout more about you than even wearing your vital stats printed on a sandwich board. If it’s true a woman learns all she needs to know about a man from his footwear, the following dozen shoes might give pause on that next shoe-shopping expedition. On these pages, 11 Angeleno women fantasize about the mystery men who inhabit these pairs of shoes. If the shoe fits, feel free to wear it.
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Alice Murray | Alto, Los Angeles Master Chorale
Tod’s brown suede Quinn loafers Aaah . . . meet my “autumn guy.” He wears beautifully textured clothes in colors like loden, sage, paprika . . . all which look just fabulous next to his adorable chocolate Lab, Tallulah. This guy’s happy to drive for miles to find the perfect pumpkin or to scour flea markets for vintage hand tools and old picture frames. He’s not much of a cook, which gives me something to do while he’s in the park playing football with the guys. He inevitably returns flushed and energized, not sweaty and revolting. How does he DO that? Afterward, he’ll sit down and devour everything that’s put in front of him, and he never gains an ounce. Really, how does he do THAT? I don’t want to be with this guy. I want to BE this guy!
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Merrill Markoe | Humorist and Author
Black leather Ermenegildo Zegna Couture monk-strap shoe These belong to a man with enough financial security and style to feel comfortable while nodding to tradition, as seen in the subtle fallopian tube-shaped perforations at the front of the shoe. They are the perfect finishing touch for Tommy Lee when he is summoned for his next court appearance, which could be any time now that he is seeing Pam again. When the judge looks down at Tommy’s chic yet slightly unconventional footwear, he will get the message loud and clear: “Would I have bought these shoes if I weren’t at least sort of willing to play along with your stupid rules now, dude?”
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Annabelle Gurwitch | National Public Radio commentator
Dolce & Gabbana brown snakeskin lace-ups When you date this man, don’t be surprised if he’s gone when you wake up, jetting to Italy on a private plane to attend a dinner at George Clooney’s villa. He’s a cad, and that’s the way you like it. He smokes, starts drinking at 5 p.m. and says ciao bella in his great Euro accent when he sees you. What country is he from? You can’t remember and neither can he, but make him mad and these shoes turn on a dime.
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Lisa Leslie | Center, the L.A. Sparks
Coach mahogany suede Ace boot An athlete definitely wears these shoes. A pro basketball player, he’s up at 6 a.m. on his non-game “play” day, and after an intense court workout heads to a late lunch at Ivy at the Shore. His agent waits nervously to discuss an upcoming Nike endorsement. He eats a chopped veggie salad, then goes for a long run along the beach. In the evening, he heads downtown for a USC alumni dinner. He slips on a dark gray suit, white shirt with top buttons undone and these fantastic shoes. Every woman he passes tonight looks twice.
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Arianna Huffington | Political maven
DSquared lace-ups These are the special “getting-out-of-prison” shoes purchased by one of the faceless accountants who helped bring on the corporate scandals of the last few years. He’s contrite but not really sorry. Secretly admires Ken Lay for looting Enron. Isn’t sure what he’ll do when he gets out, but knows it will involve “helping people.” Glad he’ll be able to go back to Brooks Bros. and Ralph Lauren--those prison blues always made him look fat. Hairstyle: left-to-right modified comb-over that he prefers to think of as a “wide part.” Favorite movie: “The Sting.” Beverage (public): Glenlivet; (private): rum and Coke. Considers himself a bit of a fashion plate. Still thinks Canoe is “a helluva cologne.” Hates the term “numbers cruncher.”
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Laurie Winer | writer
Gucci black perforated leather cap-toe boots These shoes say: If you want to be the only one crying at the last episode of “Six Feet Under,” I’m the man for you. In fact, I don’t think I’ll even watch “Six Feet Under.” But, if you like, I will take you out that night in my opal blue Maserati (Quattroporte III) for some nice spaghetti and clams. I will choose the wine. It will be red. You may control our social schedule except for Friday nights; that is my all-male poker/sports/lap dance night. I do not know who Preston Sturges is. Please don’t ask me again.
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Giuliana DePandi | Anchor, E! Entertainment News
Salvatore Ferragamo Belgrado loafers This guy is pretty hot. We like this guy. He probably works in the entertainment industry. You can find him at the bar at L’Ermitage hotel on any given weekday at approximately 6:30 p.m. surrounded by three guys in sneakers trying to sell him an idea or a script or worse. This guy has an edge, he’s strong, and he’s very successful, just like the uber-agent Jeremy Piven plays on HBO’s “Entourage.”
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Jeanne Yang | Stylist
Ralph Lauren black velvet skull-and-crossbones slippers This man’s a paradox. A little punk and rebellious are the skull & bones, but these shoes cannot deny their upper-crust heritage. He’s either a wealthy rock star or a rich preppy trying to downplay his trust fund. Worn with pegged jeans or some plaid bondage pants, these shoes show our man likes expensive things but still wants to be seen as irreverent and cool.
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Kim McCarty | Artist
Salvatore Ferragamo Brazil brown pony calf loafers The meat-packing district broils with August heat. Blow-dries have turned to summer frizz. Everyone is sweating except the young man breezing out of the Soho House. He wears a crisp white linen shirt, jeans. But it’s the shoes that say it all: sleek loafers covered in glossy brown hair, like the coat of a thoroughbred horse. He hails a cab, draws a bill from his Hermes money clip, and gives it to the doorman, who puts his luggage in the trunk. (He’s off to Majorca for the week.) Who would wear furry brown loafers during a heat wave? Clearly, a man of breeding and refinement, carefree and charismatic, who glides from place to place--restaurant to bar to gallery to island--without breaking a sweat.
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Jill Soloway | Co-executive producer, HBO’s “Six Feet Under”
Martin Dingman amber-antiqued crocodile cap-toe shoes He wears tight, orangey-red briefs, a Piaget watch and drives one of those big-grilled Chryslers that looks like a Rolls. He’s as confident around the bedroom as he is at the stove and wouldn’t be ashamed if his first words of the morning were “Darling, I’ve made you a frittata.” When you look at his shoes, you worry about how many crocs, snakes, lizards and alligators had to die so he could fancify his feet. Does this mean he kicks his cat?
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Deborah Mellman | Partner, Lip Service PR and Marketing
Louis Vuitton Edouard Cycliste brown suede shoes From Ella to Elvis and Sinatra to the Stones, this guy enjoys and respects music. He’s a whiz on the dance floor. He knows the best sushi place in the Valley and the coolest after-hours Hollywood club. He’s tall, slim, dark, a gentleman with a bit of a funky side--maybe even a bit punky. He won’t let you put mascara on him, but he’ll let you spike his hair with purple mousse. He’s sexy and sassy and must’ve grown up with sisters.
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Resource Guide
Brown suede Quinn loafers, $325, at Tod’s, Beverly Hills; black leather Ermenegildo Zegna Couture monk-strap shoes with medallion toe detail, $695, at Saks Fifth Avenue, Beverly Hills; Dolce & Gabbana brown snakeskin lace-ups, $750, at Saks Fifth Avenue; mahogany lightweight suede Ace boots, $240, at Coach, Palo Alto and Las Vegas, or at (866) 262-2440; DSquared dark brown leather lace-up wingtips, $500, at H. Lorenzo, West Hollywood; black perforated leather cap-toe boots, $674, at Gucci, Beverly Hills; Brazil brown pony calf loafers, $630, at Salvatore Ferragamo, Beverly Hills; black velvet skull-and-crossbones slippers, $695, at Ralph Lauren, Beverly Hills; Belgrado cherry calf wingtip loafers, $460, at Salvatore Ferragamo; Martin Dingman Adlai amber-antiqued crocodile lace-up cap-toes, $2,250, available by special order at P.M. Jacoy Menswear, San Marino; Edouard Cycliste brown suede shoes, $885, at Louis Vuitton, Beverly Hills.
