It’s Going Right, so Don’t Change a Thing

Donald T. Sterling

Sterling World Plaza

Beverly Hills, Calif.

Dear Donald,

Sorry to have been out of touch for so long, but now it’s spring, tra la, when I always try to help you pick up the pieces of your franchise, and I know how you look forward to this.

Let me just check the standings.... You have the No. 4 record in the West?

You da man!

Actually, I knew this could happen. I predicted you’d finish No. 6, which, I believe, is the highest anyone has had your team since it was in Buffalo, which was, of course, before you. I don’t want to say it raised eyebrows but there was talk about seeking professional help.

I know your season has gone somewhat unappreciated. Even if you’re the best team in town, it’s still a Laker town even if the tenor has changed and everyone now just wants to know whether to blame Mitch Kupchak, Phil Jackson, Jerry Buss, Jim Buss, Jeanie Buss, Shaquille O’Neal, Kobe Bryant, Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Sasha Vujacic and/or Paul Sunderland.

Your history being what it is, people are still a tad skeptical. OK, a lot skeptical.

Nevertheless, this isn’t a fluke. Even if chemistry issues remain, you finally have enough leaders, shooters and morale and you could just be getting started. With free agents Sam Cassell and Vladimir Radmanovic eager to stay, you should be able to sign them, keep your payroll around $55 million -- in the lower third of the league -- and go on making $10 million or so annually.

Figuring conservatively, you’ve made at least $50 million in seven seasons in Staples Center, probably closer to twice that. The franchise may even be profitable over your 23 seasons, not to mention $200 million to $300 million worth of appreciation above the $12 million you paid for the team (actually, only $2 million while picking up $10 million in salary commitments.)

Yes, that’s you, the man with the plan who showed what could be done if you’re patient enough to wait 23 years.

Of course -- you knew this was coming, didn’t you? -- there’s still one little problem: you are going to have to play a part in this.

You have actually been holding up your end. You put $100 million on the table for Bryant, which amazed people, even if any eighth-grader knew it was the thing to do.

More to the point, you empowered Mike Dunleavy as you never had any of your coaches or, for that matter, general managers. He happened along at a great time, with a positive cash flow and a promising nucleus -- the part that tried to flee with everyone else but couldn’t. The day Dunleavy arrived, this turned into a normal franchise.

Of course, your GM, Elgin Baylor, is still in the mix since he hasn’t been un-empowered. Instead, you’ve assured both of them they’re doing a great job and told them to keep it up.

They’ve managed to work it out without visible friction, but let’s not kid ourselves.

There’s an easy answer: Dunleavy, who has only one season left at the team’s option, gets an extension with formal control that protects the operation from mood swings. Now all it could take to go back to the way things were is a losing streak and someone at a cocktail party telling you that your coach stinks.

Baylor gets a new deal and a new title, which he has earned many times over by taking bullets for you, to say nothing of putting this nucleus together.

Of course, your preference has been to avoid making commitments until you have to. Actually, it’s more like one of the laws Moses carried down from Mt. Sinai engraved on stone tablets than a preference.

Who can forget the summer of 2002 when you and Elton Brand were $10 million apart on a six-year extension? (I’ll never forget the lesson I got on value from a fabulously wealthy NBA owner who said if he was willing to pay Danny Manning $20 million, he had to be ready to pay him $25 million. The owner was, of course, you, but you might have been speaking theoretically.)

There were no further talks with Brand. You decided to wait until 2003, when he’d be a restricted free agent and the market determined his value ... whereupon he determined it by signing a Miami offer sheet, and Corey Maggette signed one with Utah. While you exercised your right of first refusal and reeled them back in, five of your free agents -- Lamar Odom, Andre Miller, Michael Olowokandi, Eric Piatkowski and Sean Rooks -- left.

That was your entire rotation except Quentin Richardson and Keyon Dooling -- who got offer sheets and left a year later. Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind.... It’s a lot more fun being on the outside looking in than the inside looking out.

How about Manning’s last season when his contract was running out and you traded him for Dominique Wilkins, which you regarded as a triumph since you actually knew who Wilkins was? You were so excited, you went around asking everyone how it felt to finally have such a star, ignoring only one thing: Wilkins’ contract was running out too, and he wound up leaving that summer.

Like the old song says, you’ve come a long way from St. Louie, but, baby, you’ve still got a long way to go.

Yours ‘til that day,

Mark

Faces and Figures

The draft may or may not have been rearranged when Florida’s Joakim Noah devoured the UCLA front line, which confirmed his rocket ride to consensus top pick -- while he continued to insist he won’t come out. Pros now picture him as a more aggressive Marcus Camby or Tyson Chandler with way better hands.... Mr. Clutch: A game after getting ejected for punching the ball into the stands instead of shooting the free throws that could have tied the Clippers, Denver’s Carmelo Anthony beat the Lakers with an overtime jumper and everyone started gushing how clutch he was. Anthony shouldn’t have even been around to beat the Lakers. The Nuggets should have suspended him, but they have to sign him to an extension this summer. Then they can start suspending him.... Splash: The Timberwolves owe the Clippers a No. 1 from the Marko Jaric-Cassell trade, but not this spring if it’s in top 10. It’s now No. 10. Coincidentally or not, Kevin Garnett sat out the fourth quarter in Friday’s home loss to Utah as fans chanted “We want KG!” ... Anyone more revolted than entertained by the Knicks, skip this item: Coach Larry Brown vowed to stay but acknowledged corporate boss James Dolan can’t be enchanted. “I’m not going to ask him if he’s happy with me,” Brown said. “I’m not a rocket scientist but we’re bad and that’s my responsibility.” ... Imagine the possibilities: Brown has always been ready to leave long before firing becomes an issue. Meanwhile, Sacramento owners Joe and Gavin Maloof, who pursued Jackson a year ago, remain non-committal on Coach Rick Adelman.

The best thing about Charles Barkley making the Naismith Hall of Fame, aside from what could be the all-time acceptance speech, is at least the Hall didn’t mess that up. While honoring Barkley, Wilkins and Joe Dumars, it managed to spurn Don Nelson, one of the five best coaches in NBA history. You’d question the process but nobody even knows how it works. Baseball’s Hall of Fame has an effectively transparent process since Baseball Writers Assn. of America members acknowledge their votes. Not only do Naismith electors conceal theirs, no one knows who they are or if they pull the names out of a hat.... No, really: Insiders say Warrior GM Chris Mullin will keep Coach Mike Montgomery despite dropping to No. 14 in the West after raising hopes with last spring’s 14-4 finish. This either comes from shallow-pockets owner Chris Cohan or Mullin joins the list of clueless Warrior GMs since Nelson left in 1994. This is the West’s least-coached team with five players who don’t make 33% of their three-pointers attempting more than one a game, led by Baron Davis, who’s No. 3 in the league at 6.0 attempts, No. 100 in accuracy at 31.5%.... Despite the Dirk Nowitzki-for-MVP boomlet, it was no coincidence the Mavericks slumped with second-year forward Josh Howard out. Coach Avery Johnson: “We tried to hold out as long as we could without him but he’s the equivalent of a Ron Artest for us or a [Manu] Ginobili in San Antonio or a Tayshaun Prince in Detroit.” ... It was mean to cut Kareem Rush and announce he didn’t live up to the Bobcat Ideal. The real key was the team’s option on next season’s $3-million contract, which had to be exercised by the end of this one.... Jordan Dumars, Joe’s 15-year-old son, after his father’s Hall of Fame selection: “OK, maybe you were pretty good.”