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Image or Garage? Either Way, It’s a Makeover

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KCBS-TV Channel 2 is asking viewers to “tell us in 100 words or less why your mom deserves” a Mother’s Day makeover.

It’s offering five prize packages, and I suspect that many practical wives out there would reject the “New You” prize in favor of another: “Garage Clutter Free.” Ah, that attractive no-old-paint-cans, no-old-tires, no-boxes-of-old-drapes look.

T-Shirt of the Month Contest (Jail Division): Deputy Mike Ascolese, a columnist for the Star News, a Sheriffs’ Relief Assn. publication, snapped a shot of some appropriate attire worn by a suspect (see photo). Yup, the suspect was arrested on a marijuana rap.

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Bad sports? The Star News also reports that an alarm company recently called the Sheriff’s Department to report a burglary on Football Boulevard. Better known as Foothill Boulevard.

Curiosities du Jour: Today’s items (see accompanying) include:

* A house ad that bragged about some real luxury features (submitted by Marcia Goodman of Long Beach).

* A help-wanted ad for people who apparently are willing to work as U.N. negotiators (from Bill Fawcett of Tujunga).

* Directions for assembling an armoire that include psychological help -- evidently for people like me who can’t assemble anything (from Charles Decker of Ontario).

When he says every vote counts, he means it: After I read that Bradbury City Council candidate Brian Guthrie received only 22 votes in last week’s election, I felt a bit sorry for him. But he needed no sympathy. Guthrie was elected with a rousing 56% of the vote over Richard Pycz, who received 17 votes. Bradbury has about 850 residents.

Your taxes at work: Have you noticed the billboard campaign touting the new bus line that runs nonstop from Union Station to LAX? Bit of an irony there.

L.A. County has all those crisscrossing Metro Rail lines and none go to LAX. But years ago, when the Green Line was being designed, many folks thought it would extend from Norwalk to LAX. Somehow that concept got derailed, though. Instead, the Green Line was built from Norwalk to El Segundo, home of a then-flourishing aerospace industry. People wouldn’t want to take the line to the airport, officials explained. Now the thinking has changed -- when it’s too late.

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No wonder the Green Line acquired the name “the Train to Nowhere.”

miscelLAny: Los Angeles’ online taxpayers were ranked the 10th-biggest group of online procrastinators in the nation by the tax software firm Intuit. No. 1 among cities whose taxpayers waited until the last couple of days to file? San Diego.

Hmm.... Interesting that San Diego’s city government has had some recent financial problems as well.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.

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