A Mandatory Gratuity Will Be Added for Visiting Sportswriters

Doug Thomson of West L.A. noticed that sportswriter Jason Whitlock of the Kansas City Star opened one column with this complaint: “A week in Los Angeles will make any man miss Kansas City. LA has terrific, surgically enhanced scenery, but it’s impossible to get a good meal for less than $100.”

Burp. Let me know if that ploy works with your expense-account people, Jason.

Harvey’s Hall of Wonders: Today’s exhibits (see accompanying) include:

* A sign that warns parking violators in Alaska they will go to the dogs (snapped by Mary Sue Owen of L.A.).

* A device that Dan Dreier of Venice figures “gets you onto the Internet and cleans clogged drains too.” Unless the ad was supposed to say “router.”

* A real estate agent who must give awfully good service, speculates Stu Courtice of San Gabriel, judging from the rate he charges.

* A product that will overcome any shyness you have about eating such dishes as chocolate cake (found by Donna Acosta of San Dimas).

This-Strange-World Department: Mike Hatchimonji of La Palma passed along this crime log item from the Los Alamitos News-Enterprise: “A business was concerned that a male subject who had driven himself to their store was asking for assistance buying groceries, saying he was blind. DMV checks showed that his license had been revoked for a disability, but police determined that he had gotten a temporary operating permit.”

He’s still got some more at-bats: Bud Furillo, the colorful sports editor of the old L.A. Herald-Examiner, died the other day at the age of 80, as you may have read. Furillo, my first boss, was a tremendous influence on my career, beginning with the fact that when I told him I was weary of sportswriting, he helped land me a news-side job at The Times. (That’s a compliment when your boss helps you get a job at another company, right?)

Anyway, I’m happy to report that his children are gathering some of his columns and autobiographical writings and hope to publish a book. Don’t know what the title will be, but high-living Bud always told me he preferred “The Bases Were Loaded and So Was I.”

miscelLAny: In this era of chain stores, it isn’t easy for an independent to stay in business, but Primo’s Donuts just celebrated its 50th birthday in West L.A.

Having dined there, I’d say that Primo’s success derives in part from the quality of the offerings as well as the friendliness of owners Ralph and Celia Primo. Oh, and one other thing: Some months after they went into business, they were assured an unending stream of teenage customers when a junior high school opened across the street.

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.