Ben’s here, baby, then he’s gone

“It’s time to act like we know each other,” Ben Affleck whispered to South African writer-director Gavin Hood and “Desperate Housewives” star Alfre Woodard as the trio posed for photos at the “Tsotsi” premiere Wednesday night.

Affleck’s name had been on then off the media tip sheet for the low-key Pacific Design Center event for the Oscar-nominated best foreign language film. So folks were surprised when the suited-up stud arrived. He strode in, posed quickly for photos, exchanged brief words with Woodard, Hood and reps from Amnesty International and Artists for a New South Africa, and quickly left. All in 10 minutes.

Why the rush? Seems Affleck stopped by as a favor to “Tsotsi” distributor Miramax. He’s really busy now that he’s a big-time director, making his first major feature -- “Gone, Baby, Gone” -- for (surprise) Miramax.

Affleck’s film is based on “Mystic River” author Dennis Lehane’s novel about two Boston detectives trying to solve a young girl’s kidnapping. Word is Affleck will adapt the screenplay himself but he won’t star in it. Let’s breathe a collective sigh of relief.

The last major screenplay writing Affleck did was pretty successful. It earned him and Matt Damon an Oscar for best screenplay for 1997’s “Good Will Hunting.”

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‘Brokeback’ shirts hang at new home

Where will Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist’s overlapping shirts -- seen in the final scene of “Brokeback Mountain” -- spend the rest of their days?

In the historic Beverly Hills home of western film star Gary Cooper, now owned by venture capitalist-philanthropist David Bohnett.

Bohnett’s partner Tom Gregory bought the “Brokeback” cowboy shirts -- still on one hanger -- from the EBay auction that ended Monday.

His winning bid? Just $100,100.51.

A longtime film still collector (63 signed photos of classic film stars decorate his home’s walls), Gregory knew the value of the shirts as an investment.

“The minute I saw the film, I wanted those shirts ...,” he said. “I’m honored to be the steward of these shirts that are such an important symbol for our time and the gay culture. I didn’t want them to end up in the hands of some right wing zealot who might burn them as a political statement.”

The shirts arrived Thursday, and Gregory was planning to take them to his framer friend to design a fitting display. “I’m thinking a picture box frame for them that will give the effect of being inside a closet.”

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Marchesa and Mischa a match

Mischa Barton is the latest Hollywood lovely to wear a Marchesa gown -- designed by Harvey Weinstein’s girlfriend Georgina Chapman. She showed up in her Marchesa frock at the Brit version of the Oscars, otherwise known as the Orange British Academy Film Awards, Sunday at the Odeon Leicester Square in London.

And it sure sounds like Chapman’s got an Oscar gown or three in the works. She told the British paper, “We have a lot of work on at the moment but we love what we do.”

Barton is set to star in “Decameron: Angels and Virgins,” which will be theatrically distributed by Harvey W.’s new film company, the Weinstein Co.

The film will be shot in Florence, Rome and Tuscany. Barton is set to play Pampinea, and IMDb.com describes the film’s plot succinctly: “Young Florentines regale one another in the Italian countryside while the Black Plague decimates their city.”

Wow. Good times.

And don’t be too terribly surprised if you soon read that Barton has started to date BAFTA best supporting actor winner Jake Gyllenhaal (“Brokeback Mountain”).

According to the Daily Mirror, the solo-flying “O.C.” starlet was like, totally stoked to meet the hunky actor at the pre-awards dinner.

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Party on Skull Island, anyone?

Hey, got any plans for today?

Wanna stop by Skull Island (inside the Beverly Hills Hotel) and sip some New Zealand 42 Below vodka-infused green

jungle juice, Kong’s favorite way to wash down screaming natives?

Then stick around for a lavish dinner (fresh New Zealand lamb, passion fruit dessert) in the hotel’s Rodeo Ballroom, with elegant decor inspired by the ‘30s Art Deco era, and sprinkled with stars like Naomi Watts, Adrien Brody, Dominic Monaghan and Viggo Mortensen?

And do you want to stay for made-for-the-occasion new videos from Peter Jackson (“King Kong”) and Andrew Adamson (“The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe”)?

Of course you do.

Many in Hollywood are anxious to swing an invite to the fifth annual Celebration of New Zealand Filmmaking and Creative Talent, otherwise known as the wild ‘n wooly Kiwi Pre-Oscar Bash.

This year the event celebrates seven Academy Award nominations for “Kong” and “Narnia,” along with other movies filmed in New Zealand: “The World’s Fastest Indian” (Anthony Hopkins), “River Queen” (Kiefer Sutherland and Samantha Morton), “North Country” (Charlize Theron), “The Legend of Zorro “ (Catherine Zeta-Jones and Antonio Banderas) and “No. 2” (Ruby Dee).

“It’s a celebration of New Zealand achievements in the world of cinema on the eve of the Academy Awards,” says New Zealand Consul General Rob Taylor. “It’s a celebration of our talent, our creativity and our innovation.”

The event is also infamous for being the loosest weekend party preceding those stuffy Oscars. In recent years, it’s where vintner Sam Neill held up the bar, and “Xena: Warrior Princess” Lucy Lawless rocked out onstage and Russell Crowe swooped through the party, offending everyone within earshot.

Lord only knows what could happen this year when Jackson’s big ape gets the party started.

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Snead writes “Styles & Scenes” as a blog for TheEnvelope.com, The Times’ awards site.