Yet Another Dubious Distinction for San Diego?

Somewhere, a thief’s on the hot seat -- or at least the warm seat.

The San Diego Union-Tribune reported that a display case holding a self-heating, high-tech toilet seat -- valued at $2,700 -- was filched from a storage facility. The seat, whose temperature is thermostat-controlled, is heated by water.

The creator hoped to market it in the city.

Seems like San Diego has just been flush with bad news lately.

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Reflections on a toilet seat: As for me, I don’t need a self-heating throne. I need a seat whose lid automatically comes down when the user is finished.

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Be flat-out careful: In Australia, Andy and Barbara Serrano of L.A. chanced upon a warning to drivers in the form of a before and after tableau (see photo).

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Such a deal: Richard Witkin of Calabasas received a piece of junk mail from a mortgage company offering to INCREASE his monthly payments by more than $50 (see accompanying). The ad said, “Richard what would you do with an extra -$56 per month?” Name of the program, I kid you not: SmartPay.

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Strange Juxtapositions Department: Robert Crawford of Venice saw an opening for a job where you wouldn’t get any back talk (see accompanying).

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This’ll floor you: The gloriously named Zsuzsa M. Baranyi-Milan of Beverly Hills spotted an ad by a doctor whose specialties apparently include rug burns (see accompanying).

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Happy birthday to Steve Harvey! Not me, of course, but the actor-comic of the same name who just turned 49. I’ve never met Harvey, but I’ve long identified with him because I’m always receiving calls from people who think I’m him and want an audition, an autograph, some of my old costumes or a loan.

Once I even got a call on my answering machine from a Las Vegas casino that wanted me to appear there for a week. I tried to visualize how a $100-per-ticket crowd would respond to me standing on stage and reading excerpts of my column -- and decided not to chance it.

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miscelLAny: Ex-Southlander Jeff Bliss points out that kooky police log calls aren’t limited to this area. He sent along this from the Kansas City Star:

“A north Overland Park woman called police and asked them to check out a mysterious ‘X’ that had appeared on her house, believing it to be the vandalistic work of neighborhood kids from whom, she said, there’d been trouble in the past. It turned out to be a leaf stuck to her house, police said.”

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.