Adult kids: Don’t return to the nest

FROM the point of view of a “boomerang” child, I want to say one thing: Adult kids shouldn’t live with their parents at all [“Empty Nest? Now Keep It Like That,” June 29]. It creates feelings of resentment and disrespect. The adult “boomerang” child is not emotionally equipped to deal with life’s adversities. My brother and I are back at home, although we pay an amount comparable to apartment rent. I’m back for the third time in my adult life.

I’ve had my identity stolen, been laid off from a lucrative job, been on the verge of a reorganization at another job and have had some health issues in recent years. My brother has an incurable illness, which was diagnosed when he was 25.

Had we been well prepared and known about the importance of sustaining impeccable credit, managing personal finances, making oneself marketable for several career possibilities and maintaining a functional home life, we both would have been better equipped to handle the challenges.

It’s difficult at best living with your parents. While I work toward moving out for the last time, I offer this advice to those about to become adults/college graduates: Get out and get out now.

ALICIA I. GILBERT

Phoenix

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GREAT article! I’ve been advocating independence for children all my life. When my boys were 18 and 19, they left home, struggled, ate ramen, and matured along the way.

When my daughter was 22, she led a life of complacency living at home, so I told her that I was doing her a favor by asking her to be on her own. She was reluctant at first, but after living for six months in her apartment, she tells me how she enjoys living alone and how much fun it is to decorate the place.

After we put our youngest daughter through college and law school, she said she wanted to live at home because she could not make it financially. After law school, she worked at a large corporation, which paid very well. However, she hated it and took a position with a legal clinic, which paid less.

Her dad reminded her of his sacrifices and his investment in her. Of course, being a lawyer, she gave her brilliant arguments, and I almost gave in. Her father rebutted with his eloquent defense, and won. You see, her dad is a lawyer too!

MARGIE WONG

Glendale

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