Family priorities

RE “Vargas’ Pregnant Pause Reignites Job-Kid Debate,” by Matea Gold, May 29: Boo hoo, women have to make choices regarding work when they decide to bear young. This is news? This has been going on since the advent of human procreation, long before the existence of newspapers.

The whole “You can have it all” myth is nothing more than an over-developed sense of entitlement, brought on by a surfeit of disposable income and the need to “keep up with the Joneses.”

Face it: In the work world, you’re there to work. Not breastfeed or take off early to go to soccer practice. Elizabeth Vargas actually made a rational decision in stepping down as the anchor of her broadcast, while years earlier, her colleague Meredith Vieira whined about CBS’ “lack of flexibility,” thus revealing the aforementioned sense of entitlement.

I wish more women who breed would get this simple fact: You cannot have it all. You make your choices and you live with the consequences, intended or not. This is not news, it’s not new, and it’s how it should be. Breeding is a choice. Live with it.

PETE BRADT

San Pablo

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HAVING “it” all. What is “it”?

Having “it” is different for each woman. “It” may be being a working mother or becoming a CEO. “It” could be working hard in her 20s to become financially stable, allowing her to be a stay-at-home mom in her 30s. And “it” changes during the course of a woman’s life. What a woman believes is “it” at age 25 changes when she is 35 and again at 45.

Gold talks about women making tough choices. I believe having that decision-making capability is the beauty of being a woman in this era. My interpretation of the feminist movement was that it gave women choices, which was certainly not the case during our mother’s generation or before. “It” is not to say that women must work because they can, or that they should be viewed negatively if they refuse a high-profile position in the workforce.

“It” has changed for Elizabeth Vargas, and we should celebrate the fact that she made the right decision for her and her family at this time. She is not letting down women; she is standing up for women and demonstrating that they have the right to make the best decisions for themselves despite external pressures.

MARY CLAIRE ORENIC

Manhattan Beach

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VERY little was said in the article about the heavy price children pay when both parents work and the children are put in day care from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily.

I am a firm advocate of preschool education, having been a teacher myself, but when infants and toddlers are placed in daycare with strangers, something is wrong with the parents’ priorities.

I realize that there are many women who must work because they are the sole breadwinners. But come on, ladies, let’s get our priorities straight. If we choose to have children, they must come first.

The most important career a woman has when she chooses to have children is the career of being a mother.

RUTH SALSMAN

Harbor City

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THE full headline for the story would read “Vargas’ Pregnant Pause Reignites Job-Kid Debate for Mommies.”

Maybe it’s time to throw out the terms “mommy” and “daddy,” if they lead us to dump all of our expectations on only half of the parent equation. We speak about the challenges, complexities and frustrations of nurturing both family and career as a “mommy” issue, hence the divisive term “mommy wars.”

Curiously, we never hear about the “daddy wars.” How many daddies are willing to step up to the plate and truly co-parent, which means having to make hard choices of balancing family and career? For how many more years will it be the mommies who face the challenges alone?

WILLIAM MCDONALD

AND PAMELA BEERE BRIGGS

Westchester