Kid Behind the 8-Ball Makes a Good Shot

Life is tough, a conclusion that first struck Daniel when he was 11 and tired of taking what he considered years of physical abuse from his foster father. At 13, he was removed from the home and began a series of placements in other facilities, which, in turn, led to a string of different schools and assorted problems.

Daniel knew what a normal teenager’s life was supposed to be. He knew he wasn’t living it.

I know what you’re thinking: Give us the bad news.

Don’t have any, but there’s no doubt that Daniel’s story could have ended poorly. It’s the kind of thing social workers see all too often: Sometimes a kid is just too far behind the eight-ball to get a good shot at life.

Not Daniel. Next Thursday, he’ll walk across the stage at Richland High School in Orange and get his high school diploma. It’s a diploma he’s wanted and, in the last semester, has taken extra credits to get.

Coming from where he’s been -- moving from place to place and sometimes being his own worst enemy -- this is an especially valuable sheepskin.

Bravo, says Michael Riley, the director of children and family services for Orange County’s Social Services Agency. “When you look at the circumstances that many of these youths deal with, all of them have suffered from some form of severe neglect or physical abuse or sexual abuse or something of that nature,” he says. “It’s difficult enough being a teenager today, so just imagine now you have all these other issues to deal with.”

Daniel (I’m not using his last name because of his foster-child status) says his life “just kind of rebooted itself” in recent months. He liked Richland, and he still had the echoes in his head from an adult volunteer named Sheryl Strich, who urged him on toward graduation during the two years she has known him.

But this victory belongs to Daniel, now 17. He’s the one who did it. “It’s not how I would have liked to grow up,” he says of his hopscotching over the years. “It wasn’t easy. It made me a different person, made me more independent. It’s weird, because you get a whole different experience. You’re not growing up, but you’re learning how to be an adult. You don’t get those years like a regular teenager.”

The foster system strives for residential stability, but it isn’t always possible, Riley says. Finding the best fit for a young person is sometimes trial and error.

Daniel says he’s been in eight high schools. A Richland teacher says she knows of at least five. Daniel concedes he’s gotten kicked out of some schools, and “I take a lot of responsibility for it. In a way, I could have handled things better.”

Riley is forgiving, saying the typical story of a youngster in the system makes bad behavior understandable.

But Daniel didn’t sing any sad songs to me. He matter-of-factly says he never knew his mother, who Strich says cared for him the first 18 months of his life but whom he has not seen since. He says he hopes to meet her again. His father is even more of a phantom.

When Strich met Daniel, he was 15 and living with a woman and her boyfriend. At their first meeting, Strich took him to dinner and taught him how to tip a waitress. Her own children are 16 and 24, but she says working with Daniel broadened her perspective about the need for caring adults in children’s lives.

“It just opened my eyes,” she says. “Kids don’t need physical things. They just need someone to help them out and be there for them.”

I ask Daniel if he’s proud of himself. “In a way, I take pride that I’m graduating, because I did it,” he says. “I worked my butt off to get here, so I’m going to take pride in that. I feel good about myself, but it hasn’t kicked in yet that I’m graduating next week.”

But this isn’t end-of-story.

Daniel says he’s already signed up for classes later this month at a community college. He’s interested in criminology, he says.

Best time of his life? “It’s a great time of my life,” he says. “And I think things will get better.”