Two Wins Do Not Brighten England
In the United States, people often scorn at realists as “negative,” but in England, realists are known as citizens of England.
Here among the realists with their extra centuries of experience as a nation (much of it beneath drizzle), we have a new theme for England’s turgid pursuit of its first World Cup title since 1966:
Come on, England, in South Africa 2010!
With two decidedly lackluster -- sorry, lacklustre -- victories recorded in this year’s tournament, it’s clear to this island’s horde of clear-eyed sorts that this time won’t be the time. They’re already taking the delete key to the famous sentence, “England hasn’t won a World Cup in 40 years,” as it prepares to morph into the inevitable, “England hasn’t won a World Cup in 44 years.”
A small sampling of vast reading after the team’s unimpressive 2-0 victory over Trinidad and Tobago, following the unimpressive 1-0 victory over Paraguay:
Headline, from the Independent: “Qualification the Consolation for Wretched England.” From the Daily Mail: “ ... the worst team to win two games this World Cup ... “ From Richard Williams, the Guardian: “Ask them to play their way from one end of the pitch to another with coordinated passing and movement, and they are lost.”
Brief summary of fanatic reaction: “No Way We’re Beating Argentina.”
First, England will face Sweden Tuesday night, deciding which team wins Group B. After that, they meet either Germany or Ecuador in the round of 16, with the realists already dreading either. From there (if necessary): quite possibly Argentina, the early darlings of the whole event, whose Mozart-like second goal (out of six) against Serbia and Montenegro drew praise from the realists and the realists/purists.
They’ll watch England intently from here, of course; they’ll just watch sans illusion. Hey, it’s lovely to clinch passage out of the group stage, but let’s not commit starry eyes here: That’s not a World Cup-winning team. It can’t really shoot. It can’t pass, other than the long ball. Michael Owen, 26, the phenom of 1998, still looks diminished from his Dec. 31 metatarsal injury, and we’re relying on Wayne Rooney, 20, to recover from his April 29 metatarsal injury.
Clearly, this team can’t beat the titans, not like this.
Steven Gerrard, who boomed in England’s second goal against Trinidad and Tobago after Peter Crouch clearly pulled defender Brent Sancho’s hair to make possible the first, did a few TV interviews Friday.
The BBC asked if England still belonged among the favorites.
“No, I don’t think so,” Gerrard grunted, and it was wise, it was worldly, it was unwittingly funny, and it was a midfielder from a nation extant as a unified entity since the 10th century.
