Sizing Up Potential Enemies of the State
Sure, England’s four World Cup matches thus far have lacked verve, cohesion, intrigue, boldness, quality, stamina and the merest hint of a pulse, but the wondrous national mania over those deficiencies has overshadowed another fault: lack of resentment.
That’s about to change, and none too soon, as there’s a limited patience in sport before the roiling, mutual-fan resentment that ranks among its charms appears.
Paraguay, Trinidad and Tobago, Sweden and Ecuador, England’s four opponents to date, just don’t dredge much contempt from the 35 million or so who fret over England’s fate. Even though England somehow hasn’t beaten Sweden since 1968, the Swedes provided no especially gut-mauling defeats.
Some of the seven other Cup quarterfinalists have, giving us Americans a chance to catch up on the legacies.
Quarterfinals opponent -- Portugal: Gorgeous country, gorgeous people, great for escaping perpetual clouds. Run-of-the-mill as international opponent ... until 2004. Dealt England haunting quarterfinal defeat at Euro 2004 in Lisbon on penalty kicks, penalty kicks being pretty much England’s chronic rocking-chair scene in “Psycho.” Added the Germany 2006 specter of Luis Figo’s head-butt against Holland in a match that was an argument for discontinuing all soccer. Lost to England 2-1 in famous 1966 semifinal.
Resentment ratio: three profanities (out of four).
Potential semifinal opponents: 1. Brazil: Not madly loathed despite infringements upon England cause. Appreciation for picturesque play: John Carlin writes in the Independent that England should lose to Portugal so much of the world might not see how “meekly” England plays nowadays. Brazil dismissed England in 1962 Cup quarterfinal, and with 10 men in 2002 quarterfinal on Ronaldinho free kick that curled up over the Big Dipper and down behind England keeper.
Resentment ratio: two profanities.
2. France -- Infamous mutual condescension across Channel, by now a caricature. London win over Paris for 2012 Olympics added oomph to cultural upper hand of the moment. Still, no big-time Euro match-ups, no World Cup meetings beyond group play or at all since 1982. Some English Arsenal fans support France because of elegant French Arsenal star Thierry Henry, despite France-vs.-Spain revelation he’s a big cheater.
Resentment ratio: three profanities (for inveterate Channel rivalry).
Potential final opponents: 1. Ukraine -- Has been a country only since 1991. Vintage resentment requires more time.
Resentment ratio: zero profanities.
2. Italy -- Another limited co-history, with lone World Cup meeting a third-place game in 1990 (Italy, 2-1). Italian league sent Sven-Goran Eriksson to become England’s national coach, which could cause mild umbrage.
Resentment ratio: one profanity.
3. Argentina -- How much time do you have? Eliminated England in 1986 on famous Diego Maradona goal in which he mysteriously used a hand, which apparently violates rules. Eliminated England in 1998 on rocking-chair penalty kicks. Lost to England in 2002 group play and 1966 quarterfinal and 1962 group play, but sans similar pain.
Resentment ratio: three profanities.
4. Germany -- In addition to the World Cup 1990 semifinal loss on penalty kicks, and the Euro ’96 loss in England on penalty kicks, and the lingering, moronic songs from a smattering of English fans . . .
Resentment ratio: Let’s worry about this colossus only if it happens.
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Quarterfinal foes
England’s all-time record against Portugal, its opponent in Saturday’s World Cup quarterfinal:
*--* Year Winner, Score Competition (Site) 1961 Tie, 1-1 WC qualifying (Portugal) 1961 England, 2-0 WC qualifying (England) 1966 England, 2-1 WC semifinals (England) 1986 Portugal, 1-0 WC First round (Mexico) 1995 Tie, 1-1 Friendly (England) 1998 England, 3-0 Friendly (England) 2000 Portugal, 3-2 Euro 2000 (Netherlands) 2002 Tie, 1-1 Friendly (England) 2004 Tie, 1-1 Friendly (Portugal) 2004 Portugal, PK * Euro 2004 (Portugal)
*--*
* Won, 6-5, after tying, 2-2.
Source: FIFA
