This Classic Tale Has a Surprise Ending

The inaugural World Baseball Classic began today in Tokyo, where South Korea took on Taiwan and Japan faced China.

While most don’t expect interest in this country to pick up until the U.S. team begins play Tuesday in Phoenix, some are already making dire predictions for the boys in red, white and blue.

“We know what will happen,” wrote David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. “We’ll lose to Venezuela or the Dominican Republic. Or -- say it isn’t so, Bud -- Cuba. Then we’ll criticize the Americans who played, criticize the Americans who didn’t play and criticize the team’s travel plans.

“And then, just to make sure we don’t lose again, we’ll make Puerto Rico our 51st state.”

Trivia time: Each member of the Kings’ prolific Triple Crown Line had more than 100 points during the 1980-81 NHL season. Name them.

Too much reality: Barry Bonds’ quest to pass Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron on the all-time major league home run list is the subject of ESPN’s newest reality series, “Bonds on Bonds,” but Dan Shanoff of ESPN.com suggested other formats for the enigmatic star, based on current reality shows.

Among them, “Survivor: Barry.”

The rules: “One by one, Barry votes sports reporters off team coverage, until no one is left but his publicist and his personal camera crew.”

Come on down: Noting the proliferation of court-storming among exuberant college basketball fans, Scott Soshnick of Bloomberg News has offered some guidelines for those considering leaving their seats during March Madness.

Among them:

* “If your team is favored by oddsmakers, don’t even consider celebrating on the floor.”

* “Storming the court is permissible after securing an NCAA tournament berth by winning the conference tournament. Of course, if your team would have made the postseason anyway, stay put.”

* “The statute of limitations for rushing the court expires three years after graduation. Sorry, but if you’re old enough to have a graduate degree, no celebrating with the players for you.”

Special delivery: The countdown -- “32 Days of Karl Malone” -- is underway as the Utah Jazz ticks off the days until March 23, when the team will retire the Mailman’s jersey number.

“Wait a minute,” wrote Brad Rock of Salt Lake City’s Deseret News. “Wasn’t that what people were calling his career with the Lakers?”

Looking back: On this date in 1875, the first recorded hockey game was played in Montreal, though the sport had been played in Nova Scotia for decades earlier. The Montreal Amateur Athletic Assn. beat the Victoria Skating Club, 2-1.

Trivia answer: Dave Taylor, Marcel Dionne and Charlie Simmer. Dionne had 58 goals and 135 points, Taylor had 47 goals and 112 points and Simmer had 56 goals and 105 points.

And finally: From NBC’s Jay Leno: “More bad news today for Bode Miller. On his way home from Torino, he didn’t catch his plane. Apparently, he missed the gate.”