A Money-Laundering Scheme That Didn’t Wash

Deborah Shafritz of Goleta tipped me to a money-laundering scheme that belongs in the Stupid Criminal Trick Hall of Fame.

I mean, real money-laundering.

What happened was that a Santa Barbara bank robber made off with more than $3,000 in cash, only to discover that it contained a red tracking dye.

So, he dropped in at a laundromat and put the loot in a washing machine to restore its green-ness, police told the Santa Barbara News-Press.

When that didn’t work, he treated the cash with food coloring. No go. Discouraged, he deposited the money in a Dumpster and fled.

He also left behind a device resembling a bomb in the bank. That turned out to be a hoax.

Oh, yes, police had no trouble finding the suspect. His holdup note was attached to a pay stub that bore his name and address. He meekly surrendered when officers arrived.

“He realized he was up against the A Team,” Lt. Paul McCaffrey told the newspaper.

Think how cheaply you could fill up: Alfred Wach of Newport Beach found a car that will easily fit into those annoying “compact” spaces in lots (see accompanying). After all, the coupe is about 2 inches long.

Such a deal: Ed Johnston of Covina came across a flier from a gardener who would appeal to folks who don’t like bargains (see accompanying).

Blimey: A “polite” British no-parking notice that recently appeared in this column (see photo) may be a bit sneaky too, says John Welch of North Hollywood.

Welch says he often saw such signs when living in England and learned they had no legal standing. They were posted, he was told, by individuals who “hoped that drivers looking for a parking place would give them only a cursory glance, misread them as POLICE notice, and look for parking somewhere else.”

Short on excitement? When Anaheim and San Diego ranked second and third in a national poll of “best cities for sleep,” I wondered whether that meant they’re among the most boring places in the nation. Well, Suzanne Moore points out that the U.S. Postal Service seems to feel Long Beach is pretty snooze-inducing too (see accompanying).

miscelLAny: The scandal involving chemically induced home-run hitters is becoming a national joke. KCAL-TV Channel 9 news aired a segment about an injured deer that temporarily lost its eyesight when it was treated with steroids. Co-anchor David Jackson commented that the recovering animal may soon be able to “pound a baseball.”

Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012, and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.