Cruz Aims to Shrink to Fit Into New Post

Last time I gave him any consideration, I wondered if an all points bulletin had been issued for Cruz Bustamante, who as far as I could tell had been missing in action since laying an egg as a candidate for governor. Turns out he was in public office the whole time, bellied up to the trough as lieutenant governor.

Who knew?

Now the constant candidate is running again, for state insurance commissioner this time, and in case you missed the news, Bustamante has come up with a gimmick that could be a first in American politics.

The centerpiece of his campaign is a diet.

Bustamante apparently caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror one morning and saw an opportunity to turn 278 pounds of inertia into an asset. He pledged to drop 50 pounds as a model for healthy living.

“Fighting the obesity epidemic will lower insurance costs,” he wrote in his campaign statement.

I’ll be waiting for my rebate from the good souls at Blue Cross.

Still, this might rank as the best idea a Democratic California politician has had in months. You’d think this would be party time for Dems. President Bush’s numbers are tanking and Arnold Schwarzenegger has bombed as governor, creating new and better opportunities for Democrats in a state where they hold a huge majority.

But the brightest stars on that side of the aisle are a motley crew of misfits, second-stringers and bobble-heads.

Running for governor are state Controller Steve Westly, who wouldn’t be in the race if not for the personal fortune that sponsors his dreams; and state Treasurer Phil Angelides, who could preach environmental protection at a breakfast rally, then hide his Sierra Club pin and walk tall into a lunchtime fundraiser sponsored by plundering developers.

These guys are so shaky, Schwarzenegger’s actually got a chance. And now comes news that Westly helped donors grab millions of dollars worth of investment business from the state pension fund. When, oh when, will we get a candidate who admits we’ll never get a deal on gas prices, healthcare or anything else as long as public policy is written by campaign donors?

The Dems would like us to think there’s a healthy crop of prospects waiting for a chance to move up, but there’s no cause for celebration there either.

Senate leader Don Perata has had trouble filling John Burton’s shoes, Assembly leader Fabian Nunez was recently feted by AT&T; at a Pebble Beach fundraiser while promoting legislation that could mean a fortune to the communications company, and Cruz Bustamante is promoting a recipe for Clay Pot Pinto Beans.

“When the beans just begin to simmer, add the sauteed vegetables and the oregano, crumbling it between your fingers,” says the recipe on the StartWithCruz.com website. “Cover, adjust the heat to maintain a gentle bubble, and cook until the beans are tender, 1 hour or more, depending on age.”

The age of what? Me, or the beans?

This recipe includes 12 corn tortillas, contains 14 grams of fat per serving, and is finished off with grated cheese.

Bustamante also has a lasagna recipe, which compels me to offer a healthy living tip of my own: If you need to shed 50 pounds, it might be a good idea to forget about lasagna and 12-tortilla casseroles altogether.

Cruz’s lasagna concoction has 15 grams of fat per serving despite substituting cottage cheese for ricotta.

“That’s all wrong,” said Democratic political strategist Joe Cerrell. “Cottage cheese?”

Bustamante also has recipes for smoothies called Berry Bustamante and Cruzin’ in the Tropics, and let’s not forget Cruz’s Healthy Breakfast Fritatta (“as seen on ‘Good Day Sacramento’ ”).

“These recipes are not only great tasting but they’re great for you too,” Cruz proclaims on his website, which includes wide-angle photos of him running 5K’s around the state.

He’s also got a daily journal on the website.

“On UPN this morning for ‘Cooking With Cruz,’ ” he wrote April 9, “I shared a simple smoothie recipe with Sacramento. I love drinking smoothies, especially on the weekends when I have a little extra time cut up fruit and enjoy it!”

You might be missing a word or two there, Cruz, but OK!

Actually, I shouldn’t knock the diet. Bustamante, who is 5 feet 7, was down to 235 recently, meaning that he was closing in on his target. But there hasn’t been an update or a journal entry since April 25.

Maybe he couldn’t take it anymore and has spent the last two weeks hiding out at Fatburgers and Hooters. Or he might have come to the realization that in a workout-conscious state with a muscle-headed governor who was once Mr. Universe, pushing your weight below 230 might not be seen as an Olympian feat.

Besides, what if he gets elected and then porks back up to 278? Can we just roll him out of Sacramento, or are we stuck with him?

To be honest, I’ve got a different concern about Bustamante. I don’t care what he weighs, but I do worry about how many meals the insurance industry is buying him as he runs for the job of regulating it. He’s already been fed $158,250 by those people, and that’s where the diet needs to start. Is he going to represent us or them?

“During my career I have disappointed a lot of campaign supporters,” Bustamante assured me by phone Tuesday evening.

He claimed he was down to 233. That means he’s got 5 pounds to lose in three weeks if he wants to be insurance commissioner, and I don’t know about you, but I’m sending him Twinkies and Snickers today.