Sizing up the tax brackets
The April 16 income tax deadline is upon us, leading to this burning question: Who is the highest-paid employee in the University of California system?
The San Francisco Chronicle had the answer, running with the top 10 of who gathers the most “total compensation.” A sample from that silver platter:
No. 10 -- Dr. Kahlil W. Tabsh, UCLA. Widely recognized a leader in maternal fetal medicine, specializing in taking care of high-risk patients.
No. 3 -- Dr. Ronald Busuttil, UCLA. Established UCLA’s liver transplant program, one of the largest and most respected in the world.
No. 1 -- Football Coach Jeff Tedford, California. Cured post-holiday depression in the Bay Area by finally beating a Texas team in the Holiday Bowl. Now working on a cure for the dreaded Lost-Again-to-USC syndrome.
Trivia time
What university has the longest active losing streak in Division I men’s basketball title games?
A Rose Bowl by any other name ...
Brent Huffines of Logan, Ohio, may have upped his Ohio State fan status to “frothing at the mouth” this week by naming his newborn son Tressel Hayes Huffines after Jim Tressel and Woody Hayes.
“I laughed. I thought he was joking,” Kattie Huffines, his wife, said in the Columbus Dispatch. “I was shocked to learn he was serious.”
Oh, he was serious. Huffines said he picked the name even before he knew his child was a boy.
Meanwhile, Dick Huffines said of his grandson, “at least they didn’t name him Lil’ Bo.”
Or worse, Clarett Schlichter Huffines.
No Urban (Meyer) myth
Naming newborns “Tressel” has been a trend in Ohio. The Dispatch reported that at least six couples had chosen that as a name after the Buckeyes won the 2002 national title.
The Columbus Zoo even named a newborn Humboldt penguin after the Buckeyes’ coach in 2003, though zoo officials may want to keep the bird away from the Gators exhibit.
China’s syndrome
Officials in Beijing are trying to clear the next hurdle in preparing for the Olympics: bad English translations on signs and menus.
So those visiting the games won’t be able to tour “Racist Park” (a venue dedicated to ethnic minorities) or munch on a “cow bowel in sauce,” “corrugated iron beef” or “acid food” (all actual menu items).
Police ready for hanky-panky
Calgary police Thursday braced for the worst along the Red Mile, a stretch of street where Flames fans party hearty.
“We’ll respond to crowd size and dynamics and incidents of unlawful behavior as they occur,” Inspector Bob Ritchie told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. on Thursday. “We really don’t know what to expect or anticipate, but as I say, our plan is fluid and we are prepared to respond to situations as they unfold.”
But were they ready for this? Detroit 4, Flames 1.
Gumming up the works
Ohio State basketball Coach Thad Matta is hit with two subjects. One is Greg Oden jumping to the NBA. The other is picking gum off the court and putting it back in his mouth during the Wisconsin game.
Matta, speaking at the Wooden Awards banquet, said, “As soon as I got off the floor after the game, I got a call from my mom. She said, ‘Do you know how unsanitary that is?’ And she wasn’t the last person I heard from.”
The NCAA might want to adopt the five-second rule for food on the floor.
Trivia answer
Ohio State, which has a three-game skid spanning 47 seasons.
And finally
Mike Tyson will add a new chapter to a sideshow-like life by dancing in a promotional video for the Bollywood comedy “Fool and Final.” Publicist N. Chattanior told the Associated Press, “The movie is a laugh riot, and the filmmakers thought Tyson would be great in the promo.”
Nothing says “laugh riot” like a ear-chomping ex-convict who once said, “ ... I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children.”
