Tanks a lot for the gasoline jokes; we might as well laugh

Gasoline prices have fallen a bit but KFI-AM (640) radio’s Eric Leonard points out that the numbers are still high enough to make one pump gasp in horror in Studio City (see photo).

Of course, some people don’t care: Steve Paskay of Marina del Rey noticed a pickup whose owner appeared unconcerned about gasoline usage -- in contrast to the slogan on his Arizona plate (see photo).

Does it run on cream cheese? Ira Friedman of Camarillo saw an ad for a vehicle that must really roll (see accompanying).

Not running on anything: In Guatemala, Robin McBurney spotted a couple of tow trucks that seemed to be in distress themselves (see photo).

Words imperfect: The latest whoppers from Juel Goldstock, an L.A.-area high school teacher who lovingly collects gaffes by his students:

Fish is fish, steak is beef and chicken is paltry.

He delivered papers. He was a nooseboy.

They hung 19 witches in Salami.

Dear Officer, my car was stolen & I want you to find the burger that stole it.

ribald: adj. dirty: I have to clean my mom’s room. It’s ribald.

It never hurts to ask: “My wife, Joyce Beffel, and I were dining in Eagle Rock,” related Bart Boydston. “We had brought a nice bottle of wine for lunch and were happy to pay the $7 corkage fee for a screw-off cap, asking if they had a ‘cappage’ fee, too. Our server asked the owner and in this instance the decision was ‘No cork, no fee.’ ”

I forgot to ask Boydston whether he had fish, beef or paltry.

A royal pain: The latest solution to the Queen Mary’s money-losing woes comes from Long Beach City Council member Gerrie Schipske, who wants to add a gambling attraction.

Press-Telegram columnist Tim Grobaty was reminded of past proposals, including that of former council member Jackie Kell, who thought the big ship’s business would boom with the introduction of jelly-covered doughnuts -- jelly-covered, not jelly-filled. Kell had sampled them in Copenhagen.

“It was a fully baked idea,” wrote Grobaty, and he supported it but the concoctions never appeared in Long Beach.

Maybe the city should heed this solution to the Queen Mary problem, made by an “Only in L.A.” reader years ago: “Leave the keys in the ignition overnight and hope somebody will steal it.”

misceLAny: Among the items being offered Aug. 26 at I.M. Chait’s Natural History Auction in Beverly Hills is what is described as a 12,000-year-old mummified walrus penis. Discovered in the frozen tundra of Siberia, with “perfectly preserved skin,” it’s believed to be the “largest mammal member” ever found, a publicist said. (I just hope I’m not inundated now with claims of even older or larger walrus penises from other publicists.)

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Steve Harvey can be reached at (800) LATIMES, Ext. 77083; by fax at (213) 237-4712; by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, 202 W. 1st St., L.A. 90012; and by e-mail at steve.harvey@latimes.com.